Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
I feel like Im dying inside!!!
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 657744" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I think we get stuck in a circle that goes like this: My child is in trouble. I am desperate because all those things I know <em>are not working.</em> No one else seems to know where this started or how to help either. <em>Maybe he/she is right when she says what she says, when she thinks what she thinks about me and does what she does to me.</em> When we are taking responsibility for our situations with that kind of thinking, we are working from the crazy, unbelievable end of it to find a new way to begin. We need to stop that. We know in our hearts how our children were raised. We would never have found or posted in or been able to take comfort from this site had we not been decent, committed parents <em>who took joy in our children. Because here is a secret: They were always difficult children.</em></p><p></p><p>That is the thing we do not want to see.</p><p></p><p>I learned this in rereading one of my own posts.</p><p></p><p>Well, for heaven's sake.</p><p></p><p>I tell everybody, all the time ~ you all see me doing that, every day ~ just what I see and just what they need to do <em>but I cannot see my own situation with clarity and conviction.</em> I keep falling into compassion, into understanding, where my FOO and my children are concerned.</p><p></p><p>It is a more acceptable place than resentment. Or that other, worse thing: anger.</p><p></p><p>And that is like, one step from blaming myself. Where I am pretty darn comfortable <em>because then I am back in some weird, Wizard of Oz rabbit hole kind of control where I can choose to believe I can do anything about any of this but hang on.</em></p><p></p><p>Or opt out.</p><p></p><p>And that is how the circle closes on us; that is the place we go blind as bats. <em>I cannot turn away from my troubled child</em> we say.</p><p></p><p>And the circle closes.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 657744, member: 17461"] I think we get stuck in a circle that goes like this: My child is in trouble. I am desperate because all those things I know [I]are not working.[/I] No one else seems to know where this started or how to help either. [I]Maybe he/she is right when she says what she says, when she thinks what she thinks about me and does what she does to me.[/I] When we are taking responsibility for our situations with that kind of thinking, we are working from the crazy, unbelievable end of it to find a new way to begin. We need to stop that. We know in our hearts how our children were raised. We would never have found or posted in or been able to take comfort from this site had we not been decent, committed parents [I]who took joy in our children. Because here is a secret: They were always difficult children.[/I] That is the thing we do not want to see. I learned this in rereading one of my own posts. Well, for heaven's sake. I tell everybody, all the time ~ you all see me doing that, every day ~ just what I see and just what they need to do [I]but I cannot see my own situation with clarity and conviction.[/I] I keep falling into compassion, into understanding, where my FOO and my children are concerned. It is a more acceptable place than resentment. Or that other, worse thing: anger. And that is like, one step from blaming myself. Where I am pretty darn comfortable [I]because then I am back in some weird, Wizard of Oz rabbit hole kind of control where I can choose to believe I can do anything about any of this but hang on.[/I] Or opt out. And that is how the circle closes on us; that is the place we go blind as bats. [I]I cannot turn away from my troubled child[/I] we say. And the circle closes. Cedar [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
I feel like Im dying inside!!!
Top