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Substance Abuse
I feel to blame
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 726749" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>If he is using drugs that is why he is making these choices. Nothing matters but the drug.</p><p></p><p>Nobody can diagnose anyone on drugs and be accurate. When my daughter used drugs she got a bipolar diagnosis. She has been clean 12 years and does not have mental illness.</p><p></p><p>Drug addicts care less about warmth and comfort than the drugs. Most drug addicts don't eat much even if we let them stay home. There are many resources to get food on the streets. And shelter. Your son has had many chances but his drug use matters more to him. He is not thinking like you. This is because he is an addict. The drugs change the brain.</p><p></p><p>You have given him the Moon and he throws it away. You can't make him stop using. That normally happens if it happens, when things are tough enough. After we back off.</p><p></p><p>Even if you put up with everything at home, he could still kill himself. Anyone can. I have four kids and all have known peers who commit suicide. They were mostly not addicts and they did it and we're found at home. We all wish we could stop this but we can't. The odds are low that he will do this. Your son is choosing to stay alone in bed. He doesn't have to do this either.</p><p></p><p>This is not your fault in any way and he is too old for you to make him well. An addict needs to want to get better in order to get better.</p><p></p><p>One Christmas my daughter was in a hospital hours away on Christmas due to the cops putting her there. We had two littles and a young foster child and did not visit on Christmas partly due to distance and partly because the young ones had a right to a normal Christmas, not hours in a car driving back and forth and then bring to young to even see their sister...so waiting in the lobby. She was upset but she got over it. So you are not the only mother who did not see a child on Christmas. And mine too was involved in drugs.</p><p></p><p>Your son knows very well why he wasn't included on Christmas. He is just trying to make you feel bad.</p><p></p><p>Love and hugs and maybe explore therapy for you?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 726749, member: 1550"] If he is using drugs that is why he is making these choices. Nothing matters but the drug. Nobody can diagnose anyone on drugs and be accurate. When my daughter used drugs she got a bipolar diagnosis. She has been clean 12 years and does not have mental illness. Drug addicts care less about warmth and comfort than the drugs. Most drug addicts don't eat much even if we let them stay home. There are many resources to get food on the streets. And shelter. Your son has had many chances but his drug use matters more to him. He is not thinking like you. This is because he is an addict. The drugs change the brain. You have given him the Moon and he throws it away. You can't make him stop using. That normally happens if it happens, when things are tough enough. After we back off. Even if you put up with everything at home, he could still kill himself. Anyone can. I have four kids and all have known peers who commit suicide. They were mostly not addicts and they did it and we're found at home. We all wish we could stop this but we can't. The odds are low that he will do this. Your son is choosing to stay alone in bed. He doesn't have to do this either. This is not your fault in any way and he is too old for you to make him well. An addict needs to want to get better in order to get better. One Christmas my daughter was in a hospital hours away on Christmas due to the cops putting her there. We had two littles and a young foster child and did not visit on Christmas partly due to distance and partly because the young ones had a right to a normal Christmas, not hours in a car driving back and forth and then bring to young to even see their sister...so waiting in the lobby. She was upset but she got over it. So you are not the only mother who did not see a child on Christmas. And mine too was involved in drugs. Your son knows very well why he wasn't included on Christmas. He is just trying to make you feel bad. Love and hugs and maybe explore therapy for you? [/QUOTE]
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