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I finally kicked my unstable 20 yr old son out of my house
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<blockquote data-quote="WaveringFaith" data-source="post: 619432" data-attributes="member: 17636"><p>Good morning everyone-- This is the first time I have a chance to log-on, my job has been a madhouse. Actually it's been a welcome distraction to the situation with my difficult child. He's still at my parents' house, after my kicking him out Tuesday morning. My dad called me yesterday just to let me know that everything was fine and calm. All of your words have helped me to confirm that No-there is nothing I can do about him staying over there. I know I shouldn't feel guilty about it, it IS their choice to let him stay there.</p><p> </p><p>As far as how I have been doing, I have felt a little peace and a few sporadic moments of joy with my little one. easy child has been much more calm and cheerful also, bless his heart. Even though it feels calm in my house now with difficult child gone, I still have that underlying anxiety that lies just beneath the surface. It's just a bad situation to be in, but like all of you have recommened.. I've been praying a lot, meditating, watching the golden girls (my favorite little guilty pleasure, ha), and enjoying quiet times with easy child. My dog has even calmed down - so funny, because I read someone else's post about their dog doing the same thing when difficult child was out of the house. I guess they really do pick up on our anxieties.</p><p> </p><p>Thank you all so much for your encouragement, I honestly do not think I couldn't gotten through this ordeal, having the strength to follow-through and KNOW I've done the right thing, without you all. What a blessing to have other mothers, spread out all over the country, that have this common bond.</p><p> </p><p>I know we have a long way to go, ongoing journeys. But I'm feeling better about the decision. And letting go of the guilt and what if's and regrets, etc. that have always consumed me.</p><p> </p><p>TryAGain - I feel your pain! I just read your thread on your difficult child wanting to move back home. Everyone's comments are spot on. This is the same advice given to me, and we all know that's what we need to do. Hold our ground. It's the best thing, not only for us, but for our difficult child's. They have made their choices and only they have the power to change the direction of their lives. We have done all we can do! My son was never diagnosed as bi-polar, but of course, he only saw a couple of therapists and I know that he probably never truly opened up to them. So he would always just get the "major depressive disorder" diagnosis and we would go with that. That crazy look in his eyes did scare me though, I had never seen it. Nor the violent tantrum he had and the in-my-face profanity. I will never know if drugs were involved that day, but whatever it was, it was the last straw. We can't let them take away our right to live in a peaceful home. I don't know if you have other smaller children in the home, but i have a 10hr easy child and he has had to endure all this along with me. And he deserves to have better. He's my #1 motivation to stick with this. It's so sad that when I go and take a shower, I have to remind him not to open or go to the door if someone knocks. But he's so smart, he understands. I was in the shower last night and I could faintly hear my dog barking (we keep her in the house), and she only does that when someone is very near or at our front door. I freaked out and thought maybe it was difficult child trying to get in, so I jumped out of the shower, shampoo still in hair and getting in my eyes to open the door and yell out if all was okay. He said "Yes mom, he's not here". He knew why I was freaking out. Sad. But that's how it is right now.</p><p> </p><p>Stay strong! And I can't thank everyone enough for the support. It eases my broken heart and gives me strength.</p><p> </p><p>Hugs!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WaveringFaith, post: 619432, member: 17636"] Good morning everyone-- This is the first time I have a chance to log-on, my job has been a madhouse. Actually it's been a welcome distraction to the situation with my difficult child. He's still at my parents' house, after my kicking him out Tuesday morning. My dad called me yesterday just to let me know that everything was fine and calm. All of your words have helped me to confirm that No-there is nothing I can do about him staying over there. I know I shouldn't feel guilty about it, it IS their choice to let him stay there. As far as how I have been doing, I have felt a little peace and a few sporadic moments of joy with my little one. easy child has been much more calm and cheerful also, bless his heart. Even though it feels calm in my house now with difficult child gone, I still have that underlying anxiety that lies just beneath the surface. It's just a bad situation to be in, but like all of you have recommened.. I've been praying a lot, meditating, watching the golden girls (my favorite little guilty pleasure, ha), and enjoying quiet times with easy child. My dog has even calmed down - so funny, because I read someone else's post about their dog doing the same thing when difficult child was out of the house. I guess they really do pick up on our anxieties. Thank you all so much for your encouragement, I honestly do not think I couldn't gotten through this ordeal, having the strength to follow-through and KNOW I've done the right thing, without you all. What a blessing to have other mothers, spread out all over the country, that have this common bond. I know we have a long way to go, ongoing journeys. But I'm feeling better about the decision. And letting go of the guilt and what if's and regrets, etc. that have always consumed me. TryAGain - I feel your pain! I just read your thread on your difficult child wanting to move back home. Everyone's comments are spot on. This is the same advice given to me, and we all know that's what we need to do. Hold our ground. It's the best thing, not only for us, but for our difficult child's. They have made their choices and only they have the power to change the direction of their lives. We have done all we can do! My son was never diagnosed as bi-polar, but of course, he only saw a couple of therapists and I know that he probably never truly opened up to them. So he would always just get the "major depressive disorder" diagnosis and we would go with that. That crazy look in his eyes did scare me though, I had never seen it. Nor the violent tantrum he had and the in-my-face profanity. I will never know if drugs were involved that day, but whatever it was, it was the last straw. We can't let them take away our right to live in a peaceful home. I don't know if you have other smaller children in the home, but i have a 10hr easy child and he has had to endure all this along with me. And he deserves to have better. He's my #1 motivation to stick with this. It's so sad that when I go and take a shower, I have to remind him not to open or go to the door if someone knocks. But he's so smart, he understands. I was in the shower last night and I could faintly hear my dog barking (we keep her in the house), and she only does that when someone is very near or at our front door. I freaked out and thought maybe it was difficult child trying to get in, so I jumped out of the shower, shampoo still in hair and getting in my eyes to open the door and yell out if all was okay. He said "Yes mom, he's not here". He knew why I was freaking out. Sad. But that's how it is right now. Stay strong! And I can't thank everyone enough for the support. It eases my broken heart and gives me strength. Hugs! [/QUOTE]
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I finally kicked my unstable 20 yr old son out of my house
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