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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 687742" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>For me, regardless of why the lie was told it's still a lie. A lie equals deception and for me, there is no integrity in deception.</p><p>For someone to say they lied because they didn't want to hurt me or they were protecting me will fall on deaf ears. I do not need to be protected from the truth. I can deal with the truth. The truth is always open with straight edges where a lie has dark twisted corners where more lies tend to hide.</p><p></p><p>I think it's human nature that we tell our original lies when we are small children. Even as small children we know that "what we did" was wrong and somewhere in that small mind we convince our small self that if we "lie" there will be no consequence, it's as if it didn't happen. Of course in a child's mind I don't think they fully understand the concept of a "lie"</p><p></p><p>This is a turning point in how we grow and learn to process that our actions have consequences. This is where free will and choice come into play. We either tell the truth and own all that goes with it or we lie in an attempt to deflect from us what we have done wrong.</p><p></p><p>When my son was little we used a reward system and for quite a while it worked well. If my son did something wrong he would usually start with a lie and I would tell him if he wanted to be honest and tell the truth of what really happened he would get some cool stickers. This worked well and he would tell us the truth. Of course this didn't last. It became habitual. I truly believe when someone gets to this point they believe their own lies. It's almost as if by lying they are creating an alternate life, one where they are free from the consequence of their actions.</p><p></p><p>I do believe people can overcome this but it takes effort, lots of effort.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 687742, member: 18516"] For me, regardless of why the lie was told it's still a lie. A lie equals deception and for me, there is no integrity in deception. For someone to say they lied because they didn't want to hurt me or they were protecting me will fall on deaf ears. I do not need to be protected from the truth. I can deal with the truth. The truth is always open with straight edges where a lie has dark twisted corners where more lies tend to hide. I think it's human nature that we tell our original lies when we are small children. Even as small children we know that "what we did" was wrong and somewhere in that small mind we convince our small self that if we "lie" there will be no consequence, it's as if it didn't happen. Of course in a child's mind I don't think they fully understand the concept of a "lie" This is a turning point in how we grow and learn to process that our actions have consequences. This is where free will and choice come into play. We either tell the truth and own all that goes with it or we lie in an attempt to deflect from us what we have done wrong. When my son was little we used a reward system and for quite a while it worked well. If my son did something wrong he would usually start with a lie and I would tell him if he wanted to be honest and tell the truth of what really happened he would get some cool stickers. This worked well and he would tell us the truth. Of course this didn't last. It became habitual. I truly believe when someone gets to this point they believe their own lies. It's almost as if by lying they are creating an alternate life, one where they are free from the consequence of their actions. I do believe people can overcome this but it takes effort, lots of effort. [/QUOTE]
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