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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 688846" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Ah, Lil and Jabber, I am so sorry all of this has happened to you. It is so freaking hard to love someone and be a part of this type of insanity. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I love that you wrote this. Bare honesty. Yes, that is what you can bring to this forum. The truth, unvarnished.</p><p></p><p>Lil and Jabber, it is clear that you are doing the very best you can do in a very hard situation with no good answers or directions to go.</p><p></p><p>In some ways, it is good when they cross a line because things get clearer for us. </p><p></p><p>Your son has made progress since we have known you on this forum. One step forward and now three or four backward. But that is the way of life and of this type of struggle. It never goes in a linear path. It is filled with stops and starts and backward movement and then forward movement. He is still very young and has some time to go before his brain has a chance to mature more. </p><p></p><p>Who knows what is the root(s) of all of this? Who the heck knows? Mental illness, alcohol, pot, whatever? He is not ready to get help that is clear. He is still struggling with himself. He knows the consequences, because he has experienced them before. He knows what it's like to couch surf, have nowhere to go, stay with family and get kicked out, come back home and then have to leave again. He knows how to do this, and it isn't his first go-around with all of this. I find that comforting, that he knows the score. </p><p></p><p>He is a survivor that is clear. He is resilient, that is clear. He is going to have to figure it out or he will take yet more consequences. </p><p></p><p>I don't fault you at all for anything. You can only do what you can live with. That is one of our mantras here. I love that you are hearing different voices here, strident strong for one option or another, ideas you can consider or not---you are in charge of you and nobody else is. And you are also hearing words of comfort and care and support. </p><p></p><p>Take what you like and leave the rest. Step away for a time if you need to. I hope it is always a tremendous comfort for both you and Jabber to know that the people here Get. It. We have been there and done that and we truly do understand. This is the hardest stuff in the entire world, I do believe. I see nothing harder out there.</p><p></p><p>We are here for you. Don't forget that. Honesty is welcome here. Lots of hugs today. I hope you do something nice for yourselves and for each other tonight.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 688846, member: 17542"] Ah, Lil and Jabber, I am so sorry all of this has happened to you. It is so freaking hard to love someone and be a part of this type of insanity. I love that you wrote this. Bare honesty. Yes, that is what you can bring to this forum. The truth, unvarnished. Lil and Jabber, it is clear that you are doing the very best you can do in a very hard situation with no good answers or directions to go. In some ways, it is good when they cross a line because things get clearer for us. Your son has made progress since we have known you on this forum. One step forward and now three or four backward. But that is the way of life and of this type of struggle. It never goes in a linear path. It is filled with stops and starts and backward movement and then forward movement. He is still very young and has some time to go before his brain has a chance to mature more. Who knows what is the root(s) of all of this? Who the heck knows? Mental illness, alcohol, pot, whatever? He is not ready to get help that is clear. He is still struggling with himself. He knows the consequences, because he has experienced them before. He knows what it's like to couch surf, have nowhere to go, stay with family and get kicked out, come back home and then have to leave again. He knows how to do this, and it isn't his first go-around with all of this. I find that comforting, that he knows the score. He is a survivor that is clear. He is resilient, that is clear. He is going to have to figure it out or he will take yet more consequences. I don't fault you at all for anything. You can only do what you can live with. That is one of our mantras here. I love that you are hearing different voices here, strident strong for one option or another, ideas you can consider or not---you are in charge of you and nobody else is. And you are also hearing words of comfort and care and support. Take what you like and leave the rest. Step away for a time if you need to. I hope it is always a tremendous comfort for both you and Jabber to know that the people here Get. It. We have been there and done that and we truly do understand. This is the hardest stuff in the entire world, I do believe. I see nothing harder out there. We are here for you. Don't forget that. Honesty is welcome here. Lots of hugs today. I hope you do something nice for yourselves and for each other tonight. [/QUOTE]
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