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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 689639" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>So...when I was so devastated about the kids, volunteering helped me. Would your son enjoy spending time at an Animal Shelter?</p><p></p><p>At a particularly difficult time in her life, one of my grands began volunteering to walk the shelter dogs, and to spend face time with them, and help them feel less abandoned. It wasn't every day. It was an hour or two here, an hour or two there.</p><p></p><p>Helping those animals, who were also at such hard places in their lives, gave her a focus, a beginning place to rebuild herself.</p><p></p><p>She continued to do it even after she found work. She felt a responsibility to the dogs.</p><p></p><p>***</p><p></p><p>Other volunteer thinking:</p><p></p><p>If there is lots of boating and fishing in your area, he might be able to volunteer to monitor boat launches. They do that here. The volunteers take a shift at a launching site near them. There are two volunteers. The volunteers inform boaters of the laws regarding emptying water from the boats, and provide folders with information on the spread of invasive species.</p><p></p><p>Or maybe, a museum. If he has an interest in historical things. I know he reads well and that he reads alot.</p><p></p><p>***</p><p></p><p>Would he listen to a Brene Brown TED talk? There are so many. Brene Brown is a shame and vulnerability researcher who talks about sitting with the feelings and showing up anyway and losing and failing and getting up again.</p><p></p><p><img src="http://lemonandraspberry.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Brave-Brene-Brown.png" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /> </p><p></p><p></p><p>I chose this, though it is long, because it is about Brene Brown's book <u>Daring Greatly</u>, and because of the young male interviewer. </p><p></p><p>[MEDIA=youtube]kAk4cwjvJ0A[/MEDIA]</p><p></p><p>***</p><p></p><p>In the end, I think it doesn't matter why we are as we are. What matters more is that we decide to have a look at it and make little changes toward how we would like to be. We all get stuck sometimes, and that's okay. </p><p></p><p>The craziest things have happened in these past months, but your son has made real progress in the time he was away from home. </p><p></p><p>Or maybe, he only made a baby step.</p><p></p><p>But it was a forward facing one.</p><p></p><p>I changed the way I talked to my kids. Like this:</p><p></p><p>"I can't believe this is happening either. But I know you. You are bright and strong and you are not a beggar. You can do this. I don't know how, but I know you will. Everything is going to be fine."</p><p></p><p>I read somewhere once that if our mother tells us we are going to be fine? We believe her. No matter what happens, we believe we are going to be fine.</p><p></p><p>***</p><p></p><p>I do really like that Animal Shelter idea. Helping someone else often sets us on course, ourselves.</p><p></p><p>Think of all of us here.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 689639, member: 17461"] So...when I was so devastated about the kids, volunteering helped me. Would your son enjoy spending time at an Animal Shelter? At a particularly difficult time in her life, one of my grands began volunteering to walk the shelter dogs, and to spend face time with them, and help them feel less abandoned. It wasn't every day. It was an hour or two here, an hour or two there. Helping those animals, who were also at such hard places in their lives, gave her a focus, a beginning place to rebuild herself. She continued to do it even after she found work. She felt a responsibility to the dogs. *** Other volunteer thinking: If there is lots of boating and fishing in your area, he might be able to volunteer to monitor boat launches. They do that here. The volunteers take a shift at a launching site near them. There are two volunteers. The volunteers inform boaters of the laws regarding emptying water from the boats, and provide folders with information on the spread of invasive species. Or maybe, a museum. If he has an interest in historical things. I know he reads well and that he reads alot. *** Would he listen to a Brene Brown TED talk? There are so many. Brene Brown is a shame and vulnerability researcher who talks about sitting with the feelings and showing up anyway and losing and failing and getting up again. [IMG]http://lemonandraspberry.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Brave-Brene-Brown.png[/IMG] I chose this, though it is long, because it is about Brene Brown's book [U]Daring Greatly[/U], and because of the young male interviewer. [MEDIA=youtube]kAk4cwjvJ0A[/MEDIA] *** In the end, I think it doesn't matter why we are as we are. What matters more is that we decide to have a look at it and make little changes toward how we would like to be. We all get stuck sometimes, and that's okay. The craziest things have happened in these past months, but your son has made real progress in the time he was away from home. Or maybe, he only made a baby step. But it was a forward facing one. I changed the way I talked to my kids. Like this: "I can't believe this is happening either. But I know you. You are bright and strong and you are not a beggar. You can do this. I don't know how, but I know you will. Everything is going to be fine." I read somewhere once that if our mother tells us we are going to be fine? We believe her. No matter what happens, we believe we are going to be fine. *** I do really like that Animal Shelter idea. Helping someone else often sets us on course, ourselves. Think of all of us here. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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