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I can't explain anything in psychological terms I'll just tell you my experience. One of the reasons so many of us refer to dealing with our addict loved ones as being on a roller coaster is because it is. I found myself having a series of awful dark days followed by ones where I was able to put things into perspective and find things in life to be happy about. Much of it depended on what chaos my difficult child was causing in our lives at the time. If it was a quiet period I was able to relax a bit but if she was in contact with us and causing trouble I was a wreck.