I haven’t posted in a long time..

[GoingNorth]

Also, because my mother had a brain fart and did this to me about 12 years ago, if you order something to be delivered to your kid, TELL THEM WHAT YOUR ORDERED AND ABOUT WHEN IT'S BEING DELIVERED!

I came home from work to find a 10K by the way air conditioning unit sitting on my stoop. No way for me to get it in the house, let alone installed. I had no idea who had sent it, but because it was a Kenmore, I knew it had come from Sears. We had a local Sears that only sold appliances and lawn and garden equipment.

I called them, gave them my name, and asked if they'd delivered anything to my address. That's when I found out that my dear mother, worrying about me living in a trailer in summer heat, had kindly sent me a nice big AC.

I had to call a handyman to get it into the house and install it. Called my mother and we had a good laugh over the whole thing.

But seriously, I had NO idea if that was my AC, who had sent it, and if it hadn't been a Sears, I would've been calling around to the various shippers trying to find out who had sent it to me. At some point I would've mentioned it to my mother over the phone and found out.

 

[Nomad]

You offered him clothing etc. this was kind of you. All he had to do was go to a nearby Walmart to get it. He has not earned the right to be trusted with money for many many good reasons. His attitude is horrible and suspicious. You are being kind and helpful. If he isn't good with "kind and helpful" than this is NOT ok and all "on him."

 

[Littleboylost]

Manipulate and demand when there is no grounds for their stance. And a great deal to counter their stance of “Give me MY Cell phone, Give me money! NO is a complete sentence. I am learning this as well.
It’s not easy.
My heart goes out to you. You are right not to send him money.

 

[recoveringenabler]

what the fu$k dude, you are a fu$ked up narccistic abuser!

I do believe he was referring to himself. He forgot that the one finger pointed at you is no match for the 3 pointing at himself.

I need to hold steady right?

Would you give anything to anyone else who treated you in this way? Of course not. Do not reward horrible, abusive behavior.

Hang in there. Focus on yourself. Do something kind for YOU. Refrain from responding to him. Turn off the texts. How he is behaving is typical when we say no.....the manipulations, blame, threats and general awful behavior begins once they do not get what they want from us.

It's hard. I know. Remove yourself in whatever way you can from his sphere of influence.

 

[Nomad]

As a side note....This might help some garner some ideas as it is a technique
that has helped a little in our case...

Our daughter often responds favorably when I text her (after she says something inappropriate to me) something like the following...
"Your response was unkind and inappropriate. I am trying to help you . If you continue to respond to me in this fashion, I will not answer any texts from you for the next (insert time frame but it's usually at least 24 hours). " there is usually a pause and a text Back from her apologizing!

One time something like this happened with my husband.
She was rude with him either via text or phone.
He called her and said do not call or text me until Tuesday at 5 pm or later.
She called before the allotted time frame.
He did not answer.
He immediately texted her and said "since you called before the time I told you, do not call or text me until 5 pm Wednesday...if you do, it will be at least another 24 hours."
She did not respond and did not call or text until after 5 pm on the Wednesday.

We have put in place a few things that are working. She does not do drugs and this likely helps at least a little.