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I hope they are wrong
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 698330" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Hi Tryin,</p><p>Getting caught up on your post. I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. I'm so glad you found us here. It is not easy to be the parent of an adult difficult child.</p><p>It's obvious you love your daughter very much. You have put forth so much effort to help her. There comes a point where we have to ask ourselves is our "helping" helping or is it hurting. There is a fine line that is so easy to cross from helping to enabling. We don't set out to enable, it just sort of happens and years can go by before we see it for what it is.</p><p>One of the best things we can do for our adult difficult children is to let them experience the consequences of their actions. It's a hard thing to do. It feels unnatural because we as mothers are supposed to protect our children. We are supposed to make sure they don't get hurt. It's important to learn how to detach from those emotions. One thing I have learned is our adult children learn very quickly how to use our emotions against us. </p><p>There is nothing wrong with helping our kids but if we don't have strong, clear boundaries in place our kids will take advantage of us.</p><p>The article on detachment is a great tool. It's something you should print out and read often.</p><p></p><p>Please let us know how things are going.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 698330, member: 18516"] Hi Tryin, Getting caught up on your post. I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. I'm so glad you found us here. It is not easy to be the parent of an adult difficult child. It's obvious you love your daughter very much. You have put forth so much effort to help her. There comes a point where we have to ask ourselves is our "helping" helping or is it hurting. There is a fine line that is so easy to cross from helping to enabling. We don't set out to enable, it just sort of happens and years can go by before we see it for what it is. One of the best things we can do for our adult difficult children is to let them experience the consequences of their actions. It's a hard thing to do. It feels unnatural because we as mothers are supposed to protect our children. We are supposed to make sure they don't get hurt. It's important to learn how to detach from those emotions. One thing I have learned is our adult children learn very quickly how to use our emotions against us. There is nothing wrong with helping our kids but if we don't have strong, clear boundaries in place our kids will take advantage of us. The article on detachment is a great tool. It's something you should print out and read often. Please let us know how things are going. [/QUOTE]
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