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Parent Emeritus
I know it's my fault, I keep rescuing her every time she calls.
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<blockquote data-quote="Unhappymom" data-source="post: 725026" data-attributes="member: 22591"><p>I have a similar situation, however i am the cause. My adult 40 year old son lives in another country... He left the USA because he wouldnt abide by our laws....they're ridiculous hed say. Cant hold a job, currently lives in a beach town, no job, always a story to go along with a need for money. Girls find out hes lazy and leave. Scammed us out of thousands of dollars for this business venture or that one. All failed. Calls for rent money, food.....i have to admit i gave him the money so he'd leave me alone and stay where he was as he was angry and violent when he was living with us. (We did all the counseling and medication routes). But there would always be another legal problem, a root canal, vet bills (yes cant feed himself, but has 2 dogs) etc. My husband is stronger than i am and can easily say no. Im the weaker one. Well i retired last year and told him i would not have the income i once had so the money requests needed to stop. Of course they didnt, and now im so angry at myself for not being strong enough to stop this manipulative behavior. 7 weeks ago he posted on facebook he had a broken arm with a picture....he requested money to have surgery for screw reimforcement...of course no insurance and living in Mexico! Im an RN so when he told.me some of the details things werent adding up. I believe he did break his arm, but believe the money is to live on. I dont have the kind of savings he is requiring..so i have finally decided to cut off communication with him. He is saying (to his Aunt) that i picked a fine time to disconnect. I say its now or never. He has friends, several own bars....how about a fund raiser. So im not on facebook anymore, he cant contact me through messenger as i uninstalled it, ive blocked his number from both our phones. I am feeling guilty, but i cant live like this. Ive worked my whole life, to be able to enjoy my retirement, not feed him my hard earned money so he doesnt have to work. Ive looked for support groups in my area and cant find any. Most are for enabling addicted family members. This guy has sucked every ounce of happiness out of me to the point i can't enjoy my life. Hes on my mind all the time. Believe me this is just a hint of what life has been, i could wrote a book remember hes 40 years old! This forum is the first i have found that has others dealing with the same thing....please someone tell me im doing the right thing.....this kid/grown man is making me miserable. </p><p>..</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Unhappymom, post: 725026, member: 22591"] I have a similar situation, however i am the cause. My adult 40 year old son lives in another country... He left the USA because he wouldnt abide by our laws....they're ridiculous hed say. Cant hold a job, currently lives in a beach town, no job, always a story to go along with a need for money. Girls find out hes lazy and leave. Scammed us out of thousands of dollars for this business venture or that one. All failed. Calls for rent money, food.....i have to admit i gave him the money so he'd leave me alone and stay where he was as he was angry and violent when he was living with us. (We did all the counseling and medication routes). But there would always be another legal problem, a root canal, vet bills (yes cant feed himself, but has 2 dogs) etc. My husband is stronger than i am and can easily say no. Im the weaker one. Well i retired last year and told him i would not have the income i once had so the money requests needed to stop. Of course they didnt, and now im so angry at myself for not being strong enough to stop this manipulative behavior. 7 weeks ago he posted on facebook he had a broken arm with a picture....he requested money to have surgery for screw reimforcement...of course no insurance and living in Mexico! Im an RN so when he told.me some of the details things werent adding up. I believe he did break his arm, but believe the money is to live on. I dont have the kind of savings he is requiring..so i have finally decided to cut off communication with him. He is saying (to his Aunt) that i picked a fine time to disconnect. I say its now or never. He has friends, several own bars....how about a fund raiser. So im not on facebook anymore, he cant contact me through messenger as i uninstalled it, ive blocked his number from both our phones. I am feeling guilty, but i cant live like this. Ive worked my whole life, to be able to enjoy my retirement, not feed him my hard earned money so he doesnt have to work. Ive looked for support groups in my area and cant find any. Most are for enabling addicted family members. This guy has sucked every ounce of happiness out of me to the point i can't enjoy my life. Hes on my mind all the time. Believe me this is just a hint of what life has been, i could wrote a book remember hes 40 years old! This forum is the first i have found that has others dealing with the same thing....please someone tell me im doing the right thing.....this kid/grown man is making me miserable. .. [/QUOTE]
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I know it's my fault, I keep rescuing her every time she calls.
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