Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
Family of Origin
I Love a Narcissist. Now What?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 666755" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>His personality architecture....</p><p></p><p>Are we talking again about Nietzsche here? About loving because we love because the love came first? Is that why we believe we can welcome sisters who just do not feel that way about us?</p><p></p><p>If they genetically do not have that part that loves, then this relationship dynamic cannot change.</p><p></p><p>If it is a question of learning to love instead of to accuse and berate and justify hating ourselves the way our mothers hated...themselves? Us? Then everything can change. That is what my sister means when she says she is loving my mother out of it. Loving her unconditionally and steady state and enough.</p><p></p><p>But she does have conditions.</p><p></p><p>They are very strict conditions, too.</p><p></p><p>My mother has to be my sister's mother and hate the rest of us.</p><p></p><p>My mother has to be my sister's mother and not be in love with the man who wanted to marry her.</p><p></p><p>My mother has to be my sister's granddaughter's great grandmother and not remember she has any other great grands.</p><p></p><p>Here is a story: My sister bought my mother a purse with the title: Great Grandmother on it, and with the name of my sister's grand on it. My mother had all the other great-grands' names put on the purse.</p><p></p><p>And that did not make my sister very happy, at all.</p><p></p><p>So, that would be the way someone with whom a loving relationship has nothing to do with the person being loved would look.</p><p></p><p>Be who I say.</p><p></p><p>Too bad for me that my sister needs me to be: What would Cedar do. And then, laugh about me. (For those new to the site, my sister is fundamentally religious. There was a saying awhile back: What would Jesus do? That was the mocking and ridiculing my mom and my sister were doing, about me. It still hurts me that they did that.)</p><p></p><p>But I am not responsible for how they see me. It is embarrassing and very hurtful that they did this to me, though. </p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 666755, member: 17461"] His personality architecture.... Are we talking again about Nietzsche here? About loving because we love because the love came first? Is that why we believe we can welcome sisters who just do not feel that way about us? If they genetically do not have that part that loves, then this relationship dynamic cannot change. If it is a question of learning to love instead of to accuse and berate and justify hating ourselves the way our mothers hated...themselves? Us? Then everything can change. That is what my sister means when she says she is loving my mother out of it. Loving her unconditionally and steady state and enough. But she does have conditions. They are very strict conditions, too. My mother has to be my sister's mother and hate the rest of us. My mother has to be my sister's mother and not be in love with the man who wanted to marry her. My mother has to be my sister's granddaughter's great grandmother and not remember she has any other great grands. Here is a story: My sister bought my mother a purse with the title: Great Grandmother on it, and with the name of my sister's grand on it. My mother had all the other great-grands' names put on the purse. And that did not make my sister very happy, at all. So, that would be the way someone with whom a loving relationship has nothing to do with the person being loved would look. Be who I say. Too bad for me that my sister needs me to be: What would Cedar do. And then, laugh about me. (For those new to the site, my sister is fundamentally religious. There was a saying awhile back: What would Jesus do? That was the mocking and ridiculing my mom and my sister were doing, about me. It still hurts me that they did that.) But I am not responsible for how they see me. It is embarrassing and very hurtful that they did this to me, though. Cedar [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
Family of Origin
I Love a Narcissist. Now What?
Top