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Family of Origin
I Love a Narcissist. Now What?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 666772" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>No. I do not think this is so. I think we know they mean it. Even though we try to convince ourselves they did not.</p><p></p><p>We know they do it, but we do not want to hold them responsible. Because we love them. On some level deep in the past, we do not want to let them go. Like our children. In that respect I do not agree with you, Serenity. We adored them once. We long for them still. We may always and forever long for who they were to us. They are no longer who they were.</p><p></p><p>I actually feel I may be having a heart attack from the pain of it.</p><p></p><p><em>We learned to love through them, by loving them.</em> Our mothers and fathers were complicated.</p><p></p><p><em>It was simple and such a marvel to love the babies that we were. Without them to love we would never have survived.</em></p><p></p><p>This outlet was allowed us, because it benefited the "witch mom" who wanted both kids out of their way.</p><p></p><p>That is why it is so hard to give them up. We loved them with all of our little hearts. They were<em> then </em>the only safe objects to love. <em>Everyone else was dangerous.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p>No wonder I felt so betrayed when my sister transferred her alliance to my step father and mother...after my mother's second marriage. I had lost my beloved. Who had turned on me.</p><p></p><p>No wonder my sister, when in her 20's realized her devil's bargain, wanted me back. But I could not return.</p><p>Well, I am taking this personally, Cedar, about my driving.</p><p></p><p>I wonder if this is how and why my relationship with M satisfies me because it is based upon only real things. Care. Contentment. Respect. Consideration. Gestures. Physical safety. Truth.</p><p></p><p>I was thinking this morning about how M fits into my sister's rivalry with me. Was she exultant, because by definition because of his immigration status, he is less than? Or does she fear and resent him because by who he is he is untouchable to her...absolutely undefinable and beyond her naming and controlling?</p><p></p><p><em></em></p><p><em></em></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 666772, member: 18958"] No. I do not think this is so. I think we know they mean it. Even though we try to convince ourselves they did not. We know they do it, but we do not want to hold them responsible. Because we love them. On some level deep in the past, we do not want to let them go. Like our children. In that respect I do not agree with you, Serenity. We adored them once. We long for them still. We may always and forever long for who they were to us. They are no longer who they were. I actually feel I may be having a heart attack from the pain of it. [I]We learned to love through them, by loving them.[/I] Our mothers and fathers were complicated. [I]It was simple and such a marvel to love the babies that we were. Without them to love we would never have survived.[/I] This outlet was allowed us, because it benefited the "witch mom" who wanted both kids out of their way. That is why it is so hard to give them up. We loved them with all of our little hearts. They were[I] then [/I]the only safe objects to love. [I]Everyone else was dangerous. [/I] No wonder I felt so betrayed when my sister transferred her alliance to my step father and mother...after my mother's second marriage. I had lost my beloved. Who had turned on me. No wonder my sister, when in her 20's realized her devil's bargain, wanted me back. But I could not return. Well, I am taking this personally, Cedar, about my driving. I wonder if this is how and why my relationship with M satisfies me because it is based upon only real things. Care. Contentment. Respect. Consideration. Gestures. Physical safety. Truth. I was thinking this morning about how M fits into my sister's rivalry with me. Was she exultant, because by definition because of his immigration status, he is less than? Or does she fear and resent him because by who he is he is untouchable to her...absolutely undefinable and beyond her naming and controlling? [I] [/I] [/QUOTE]
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I Love a Narcissist. Now What?
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