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I Love a Narcissist. Now What?
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<blockquote data-quote="Quicksand" data-source="post: 677378" data-attributes="member: 19405"><p>I'm home now. It was hard to leave 70 degrees to come home to 16! Ugh. I looked and looked at the stars every night and I thought and thought and tried to make sense of it all.</p><p>My Difficult Child wanting nothing to do with us and me wanting nothing to do with my mother. My Difficult Child says I'm as bad as my mother and "doesn't forgive me". My heart hurts from statements like those, but my head says he's just trying to wound me because the gravy train has come to a halt and I did not treat my kids like my mother treated hers. Either way, I feel sick inside.</p><p></p><p>Copa, you hit the nail on the head- NO, she didn't reach out to UAW.</p><p></p><p>Friday night, she called again while I was in the camper in the desert with UAW & sister in law. This time, her message was- I know I'm being a pest. K (my niece , Dr.gc's daughter) asked if I've heard from you and suggested that I text, but I don't know how. PLEASE call me, I really want to talk to you and hope you feel the same.</p><p></p><p>I didn't mention in the earlier post that, UAW's son let him know that my mother crashed into a bus after running a stop sign. She broke her pelvis.(she wouldn't hear of not driving for a few years now) She's at home now.</p><p></p><p>I believe that she needs my help. That is her motive for calling me.</p><p></p><p>Dr.gc drives past her street every day. My sister lives in the same condo complex, she can't drive but does walk over there every night for dinner. I've been the one who was going 1400 miles to help them when my dad was alive. Going A LOT- which I was willing to do.</p><p></p><p>I'm not willing now. She has 1 fully capable son and 1 semi-capable daughter to help her. Between the two, they could work it out. She also has plenty of money to pay someone.</p><p>I don't know for sure that I'm right, but it feels right.</p><p>If she was genuinely trying to pick up the pieces of her broken family, she would be reaching out to UAW as well. She has always excluded him in some way or another. I just can't tolerate that.</p><p></p><p>I can't wrap my head around what we could possibly talk about. I would have to pretend that the chaos during my dads death didn't happen. That's how it works in my family of origin.</p><p></p><p>I heard a term "ghosting"- it's a Borderline (BPD) trait- it's when a person is DONE with someone and they just go away from your life.</p><p>I question myself on this. Am I ghosting her? Because that is how I feel... I just don't want the stress of dealing with her. I don't hate her, but I don't trust her.</p><p>UAW and sister in law were not telling me what to do, but agreed with my theory.</p><p></p><p>The stars in the desert where just what I needed. Plus I got to see Slab City, which was on my bucket list..</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Quicksand, post: 677378, member: 19405"] I'm home now. It was hard to leave 70 degrees to come home to 16! Ugh. I looked and looked at the stars every night and I thought and thought and tried to make sense of it all. My Difficult Child wanting nothing to do with us and me wanting nothing to do with my mother. My Difficult Child says I'm as bad as my mother and "doesn't forgive me". My heart hurts from statements like those, but my head says he's just trying to wound me because the gravy train has come to a halt and I did not treat my kids like my mother treated hers. Either way, I feel sick inside. Copa, you hit the nail on the head- NO, she didn't reach out to UAW. Friday night, she called again while I was in the camper in the desert with UAW & sister in law. This time, her message was- I know I'm being a pest. K (my niece , Dr.gc's daughter) asked if I've heard from you and suggested that I text, but I don't know how. PLEASE call me, I really want to talk to you and hope you feel the same. I didn't mention in the earlier post that, UAW's son let him know that my mother crashed into a bus after running a stop sign. She broke her pelvis.(she wouldn't hear of not driving for a few years now) She's at home now. I believe that she needs my help. That is her motive for calling me. Dr.gc drives past her street every day. My sister lives in the same condo complex, she can't drive but does walk over there every night for dinner. I've been the one who was going 1400 miles to help them when my dad was alive. Going A LOT- which I was willing to do. I'm not willing now. She has 1 fully capable son and 1 semi-capable daughter to help her. Between the two, they could work it out. She also has plenty of money to pay someone. I don't know for sure that I'm right, but it feels right. If she was genuinely trying to pick up the pieces of her broken family, she would be reaching out to UAW as well. She has always excluded him in some way or another. I just can't tolerate that. I can't wrap my head around what we could possibly talk about. I would have to pretend that the chaos during my dads death didn't happen. That's how it works in my family of origin. I heard a term "ghosting"- it's a Borderline (BPD) trait- it's when a person is DONE with someone and they just go away from your life. I question myself on this. Am I ghosting her? Because that is how I feel... I just don't want the stress of dealing with her. I don't hate her, but I don't trust her. UAW and sister in law were not telling me what to do, but agreed with my theory. The stars in the desert where just what I needed. Plus I got to see Slab City, which was on my bucket list.. [/QUOTE]
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