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Family of Origin
I Love a Narcissist. Now What?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 677380" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>QS I never heard of ghosting. This is what my sister did to my mother and I as my mother was dying and I was with her.</p><p>These things are very tough. </p><p></p><p>I guarantee you inside of yourself you are not indifferent to your mother. </p><p></p><p>Who knows what she really wants? I hate it that she excluded UAW. It is a perfect example of shunning which we are talking about on another thread. </p><p></p><p>If it were me, I would think about my limits with her. If you are willing to see her, or talk to her, or even help her, or not. There are ways you can help without seeing her. Until I was able to quit my job 1000 miles from my mother, I bought her groceries online and had them delivered. (Von's and Safeway do it). </p><p></p><p>What feels right in the moment is not always the way it feels after they go. As my mother died I felt a great love for her that I never, ever imagined I felt. I grieved her horribly for over 2 years. I mean, I was desolate. Did not work, leave the house or even the bed. Nobody was more surprised than I was.</p><p></p><p>I felt the same way as you. I had an almost entirely phone relationship with my mother until she got too sick to take care of herself. I was a afraid of her. I wish I had seen her because I realized afterwards that I would have been strong enough. It would have been the right thing to do.</p><p></p><p>Asking yourself what is the right thing to do is as important as the thing that feels best. </p><p></p><p>If you do decide to contact her, I would sure tell her how you feel about her excluding UAW. </p><p></p><p>The fact that she has children nearby to help her really does not mean anything. You have mentioned that your brother the doctor is mean and selfish. I do not remember about your sister. It may be she has no one.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 677380, member: 18958"] QS I never heard of ghosting. This is what my sister did to my mother and I as my mother was dying and I was with her. These things are very tough. I guarantee you inside of yourself you are not indifferent to your mother. Who knows what she really wants? I hate it that she excluded UAW. It is a perfect example of shunning which we are talking about on another thread. If it were me, I would think about my limits with her. If you are willing to see her, or talk to her, or even help her, or not. There are ways you can help without seeing her. Until I was able to quit my job 1000 miles from my mother, I bought her groceries online and had them delivered. (Von's and Safeway do it). What feels right in the moment is not always the way it feels after they go. As my mother died I felt a great love for her that I never, ever imagined I felt. I grieved her horribly for over 2 years. I mean, I was desolate. Did not work, leave the house or even the bed. Nobody was more surprised than I was. I felt the same way as you. I had an almost entirely phone relationship with my mother until she got too sick to take care of herself. I was a afraid of her. I wish I had seen her because I realized afterwards that I would have been strong enough. It would have been the right thing to do. Asking yourself what is the right thing to do is as important as the thing that feels best. If you do decide to contact her, I would sure tell her how you feel about her excluding UAW. The fact that she has children nearby to help her really does not mean anything. You have mentioned that your brother the doctor is mean and selfish. I do not remember about your sister. It may be she has no one. COPA [/QUOTE]
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I Love a Narcissist. Now What?
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