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Family of Origin
I miss my sister...for the first time in say 55 years.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 654647" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p><span style="color: #ff4da6">Cedar. I had to STOP reading your post/response.....</span></p><p></p><p>"It could be that your mother was cruel and overbearing and that you needed so badly for her to be the affirming mother you needed that you condemned yourself for her faults." (I still have not learned how to do quotes. I do know how to use colors.)</p><p></p><p><span style="color: #ff0000">To tell you I LOVED HER. She may have been all of these things. BUT I LOVED HER, and did not know how much until it was too late.</span></p><p></p><p>So many things going through my head, right now. Cedar, how come I could not just get stronger? Develop boundaries. Do anything at all to be with her? </p><p></p><p> At what cost, Cedar, did I save myself...to have my own life. Sometimes, Cedar, I think it was not worth it. That I would have rather lived close to her, in her shadow, even consumed by her...than to suffer as I have since her death. Cedar, I believe I chose wrong. I have said it before. After she died, I came to feel, to believe...I had lived poorly. That whatever success, independence, individuation, wisdom.....gained was at too great a cost....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 654647, member: 18958"] [COLOR=#ff4da6]Cedar. I had to STOP reading your post/response.....[/COLOR] "It could be that your mother was cruel and overbearing and that you needed so badly for her to be the affirming mother you needed that you condemned yourself for her faults." (I still have not learned how to do quotes. I do know how to use colors.) [COLOR=#ff0000]To tell you I LOVED HER. She may have been all of these things. BUT I LOVED HER, and did not know how much until it was too late.[/COLOR] So many things going through my head, right now. Cedar, how come I could not just get stronger? Develop boundaries. Do anything at all to be with her? At what cost, Cedar, did I save myself...to have my own life. Sometimes, Cedar, I think it was not worth it. That I would have rather lived close to her, in her shadow, even consumed by her...than to suffer as I have since her death. Cedar, I believe I chose wrong. I have said it before. After she died, I came to feel, to believe...I had lived poorly. That whatever success, independence, individuation, wisdom.....gained was at too great a cost.... [/QUOTE]
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Family of Origin
I miss my sister...for the first time in say 55 years.
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