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Family of Origin
I miss my sister...for the first time in say 55 years.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 654913" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>To believe that the world and their lives are so dangerous and that our caretakers so inadequate or evil, would make our child lives intolerable, ending our lives before they begin, as institutionalized infants shrivel and die without nurture.</p><p></p><p>Is it any surprise that we abandon and turn against ourselves so as to keep the illusion of care...and to keep close all we have? We join with them to attack ourselves...so as to LIVE. </p><p>I used to use the image of a trapped animal gnawing their own flesh to be free. Except here it is the opposite: We gnaw away at our spirits...in order to stay close.</p><p></p><p>My life seems to have followed a cycle: I gnawed away at my spirit to have a Mother; I gnawed at my flesh to be free; to have independence of spirit and body; following the death of my Mother---the sense that neither that emancipation of spirit or independence were worth it, in retrospect I wish I had sacrificed my spirit to have stayed close to her.</p><p></p><p>I seek pardon from the charges against me: Guilty treasonous betrayer of my Mother, for trying to have an adult life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 654913, member: 18958"] To believe that the world and their lives are so dangerous and that our caretakers so inadequate or evil, would make our child lives intolerable, ending our lives before they begin, as institutionalized infants shrivel and die without nurture. Is it any surprise that we abandon and turn against ourselves so as to keep the illusion of care...and to keep close all we have? We join with them to attack ourselves...so as to LIVE. I used to use the image of a trapped animal gnawing their own flesh to be free. Except here it is the opposite: We gnaw away at our spirits...in order to stay close. My life seems to have followed a cycle: I gnawed away at my spirit to have a Mother; I gnawed at my flesh to be free; to have independence of spirit and body; following the death of my Mother---the sense that neither that emancipation of spirit or independence were worth it, in retrospect I wish I had sacrificed my spirit to have stayed close to her. I seek pardon from the charges against me: Guilty treasonous betrayer of my Mother, for trying to have an adult life. [/QUOTE]
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Family of Origin
I miss my sister...for the first time in say 55 years.
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