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I need help (long) need a new direction to look - this is a puzzle
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 137219"><p>You stated that the family history of domestic violence does not apply to her as she was the favored one and only witnessed it. </p><p></p><p>The history does still apply to her. I only witnessed it, too. I cried every time my brother got into trouble because I was afraid for him. I lived in fear. I had no control. I was on edge...a raised voice, a look, a tone, even my father sneezing would make me jump. I still have trouble with men being loud. It still makes me jump. I, too, was the favored child. I wasn't beat. I idolized my father for many years. My brother was jealous of me because he saw it that I could do no wrong. I felt guilty because I could do no wrong. I felt guilty if my brother did something to me (as siblings will do) and he got in trouble. It was always worse when he got in trouble. I felt helpless.</p><p></p><p>Interestingly enough, my brother is the one with the relationship with our father now. I cut my father off for a number of years. He recently came back, but I keep him at a distance. And my brother won't speak to me because of it. </p><p></p><p>This might be way out there, but since you're looking for a new direction it's worth a look:</p><p></p><p><a href="http://www.nctsnet.org/nctsn_assets/pdfs/edu_materials/ComplexTrauma_All.pdf" target="_blank">http://www.nctsnet.org/nctsn_assets/pdfs/edu_materials/ComplexTrauma_All.pdf</a></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 137219"] You stated that the family history of domestic violence does not apply to her as she was the favored one and only witnessed it. The history does still apply to her. I only witnessed it, too. I cried every time my brother got into trouble because I was afraid for him. I lived in fear. I had no control. I was on edge...a raised voice, a look, a tone, even my father sneezing would make me jump. I still have trouble with men being loud. It still makes me jump. I, too, was the favored child. I wasn't beat. I idolized my father for many years. My brother was jealous of me because he saw it that I could do no wrong. I felt guilty because I could do no wrong. I felt guilty if my brother did something to me (as siblings will do) and he got in trouble. It was always worse when he got in trouble. I felt helpless. Interestingly enough, my brother is the one with the relationship with our father now. I cut my father off for a number of years. He recently came back, but I keep him at a distance. And my brother won't speak to me because of it. This might be way out there, but since you're looking for a new direction it's worth a look: [URL]http://www.nctsnet.org/nctsn_assets/pdfs/edu_materials/ComplexTrauma_All.pdf[/URL] [/QUOTE]
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