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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 485885" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Janet</p><p></p><p>You could be talking about my husband. Seriously. Now the man could be plenty crabby when he wanted to before his TIA (small stroke) or stressed or tired or whatever......but it was not all the time. </p><p></p><p>Post TIA I started seeing changes. I'll admit that at first I didn't really believe he had a TIA at the time. (he'd had one much much younger and didn't tell the neuro so I thought it highly possible they were seeing the damage from that on the MRI) But as months passed I started noticing a change in his personality. The occasional crabby turned into grumpy, he had less patience. And it just got worse from there. Why it got worse (because the damage should not have continued or gotten worse) I dunno. I just know as the years passed grumpy turned into grouch into surly with a touch of paranoia where Travis was concerned. (the boy could do little right and caught the blame for everything) I think the touch of paranoia was due to memory issues he was having. His patience kept getting worse too and people irritated him more and more. </p><p></p><p>It had been a few years after the TIA when he had the shoulder surgery that the doctor gave him trazadone to help him sleep.......and I saw a sudden drastic change of husband back into the person he used to be pre stroke. And I dug in my heels and would NOT let them take him off of it. Well then we lost insurance 2 yrs ago when he lost his job and I had surly with a touch of paranoia to contend with again.......omg it was hard to live with him at all some days. </p><p></p><p>Our arguments were eerily similar to the ones you're having with Tony. There were times I had to talk him through like........now why on earth would Travis take such and such when he doesn't even USE or LIKE such and such, seriously the kid did not take it. husband would eat up all his cheese and swear all day that Travis had done it. Or the milk. Or the bread. Um.....Travis is lactose intolerant, I knew he wasn't doing it as he'd never get out of our 1 bathroom. And it was almost always stupid unimportant things too. </p><p></p><p>I'll tell you what. It got so bad we'd be nose to nose. I never let it go to name calling or disrespect, but I got so fed up with it that I'd be nose to nose with him at least half the time. Our kids were concerned. They grew up in a household where "fighting" or "arguing" consisted of a discussion done calmly and usually in private, and it was rare. Not raised voices and in your face pretty much every day. </p><p></p><p>I had decided for him when his retirement came he was being dragged to my fam doctor for his medications and to get that darn trazadone back! I didn't care what the cost was. </p><p></p><p>Of course then he had the heart attack..........</p><p></p><p>After the heart attack.........I'm going to tell you right now the first thing I said to easy child was that husband was "not himself". I said it everyday he was in the cardiac ICU. I said it non stop when he came home. While still in the hospital we thought perhaps it was because him needing 4 liters of O2 and higher at times obviously his O2 blood levels were very low. (this can cause people to act really mean and nasty by the way or sleepy or dingy, depends on the person) But once he was weaned off the O2 it didn't improve. At home it was worse. I remember posting about how he literally drove me out to the front porch to smoke so I wouldn't say something I'd regret. I thought he was surly and a tad paranoid before the heart attack.........I'd have to multiply that by about 50 for after. I talked with easy child a lot over it. We thought it was the stages of death (same as the stages of grief), being scared, not feeling well.......all sorts of things.</p><p></p><p>I still don't know for a fact of what it was. But I *think* it was related to circulation, blood O2, combined with probably blood pressure thrown in. I had noticed (in hindsight) that his surly and paranoia had gotten horrific in the weeks prior to the massive heart attack. </p><p></p><p>easy child and I had diagnosed husband with congestive heart failure 2 yrs ago.......hard to miss, he had all the signs, as well as PAD (peripheral artery disease). He refused to listen to us. </p><p></p><p>But I think he was probably having blood oxygen saturation issues long before the actual heart attack. I know his blood pressure was really dangerously high. (and I did try to get him to go to the doctor for it but he refused to see mine)</p><p></p><p>After the heart attack.......well of course there was massive damage to the heart so of course his circulation svcked and at home his O2 saturation probably dropped but I watched for any sign of it being seriously low (blueish tinge to lips, fingers, toes ect) and never saw any. But you can have it be low enough to affect behavior without those signs. And I've had nearly 3 months in which to think of why he passed in his sleep that morning. His facial expression indicated no pain. I'm guessing that his blood O2 sat dropped dramatically as he slept causing his heart to finally just stop. easy child agrees. It makes sense with him being so blue from the neck up when I found him which was shortly after he passed.</p><p></p><p>Now for what he had.......honestly, it was the best way for him to go.</p><p></p><p>But I'm thinking it would be a good idea to get Tony into the family doctor for a really darn good physcial. One for blood pressure, to get his O2 sat checked.....heart checked out good ect. Because these things make you feel crappy but yet you can't quite figure out why you feel so crappy so you wind up grumpy and grouchy ect. Wouldn't hurt to have him checked out even if that is not the cause. (and I'm really hoping it's not) But he's already had one stroke.......it doesn't have to be a stroke next time. Know what I mean??</p><p></p><p>Tell Tony I said he needs that physical asap. </p><p></p><p>As Esther said..........I'm glad I didn't leave husband over this crud. And you know I was tempted to do just that many a time when it got to be just too much. </p><p></p><p>((hugs))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 485885, member: 84"] Janet You could be talking about my husband. Seriously. Now the man could be plenty crabby when he wanted to before his TIA (small stroke) or stressed or tired or whatever......but it was not all the time. Post TIA I started seeing changes. I'll admit that at first I didn't really believe he had a TIA at the time. (he'd had one much much younger and didn't tell the neuro so I thought it highly possible they were seeing the damage from that on the MRI) But as months passed I started noticing a change in his personality. The occasional crabby turned into grumpy, he had less patience. And it just got worse from there. Why it got worse (because the damage should not have continued or gotten worse) I dunno. I just know as the years passed grumpy turned into grouch into surly with a touch of paranoia where Travis was concerned. (the boy could do little right and caught the blame for everything) I think the touch of paranoia was due to memory issues he was having. His patience kept getting worse too and people irritated him more and more. It had been a few years after the TIA when he had the shoulder surgery that the doctor gave him trazadone to help him sleep.......and I saw a sudden drastic change of husband back into the person he used to be pre stroke. And I dug in my heels and would NOT let them take him off of it. Well then we lost insurance 2 yrs ago when he lost his job and I had surly with a touch of paranoia to contend with again.......omg it was hard to live with him at all some days. Our arguments were eerily similar to the ones you're having with Tony. There were times I had to talk him through like........now why on earth would Travis take such and such when he doesn't even USE or LIKE such and such, seriously the kid did not take it. husband would eat up all his cheese and swear all day that Travis had done it. Or the milk. Or the bread. Um.....Travis is lactose intolerant, I knew he wasn't doing it as he'd never get out of our 1 bathroom. And it was almost always stupid unimportant things too. I'll tell you what. It got so bad we'd be nose to nose. I never let it go to name calling or disrespect, but I got so fed up with it that I'd be nose to nose with him at least half the time. Our kids were concerned. They grew up in a household where "fighting" or "arguing" consisted of a discussion done calmly and usually in private, and it was rare. Not raised voices and in your face pretty much every day. I had decided for him when his retirement came he was being dragged to my fam doctor for his medications and to get that darn trazadone back! I didn't care what the cost was. Of course then he had the heart attack.......... After the heart attack.........I'm going to tell you right now the first thing I said to easy child was that husband was "not himself". I said it everyday he was in the cardiac ICU. I said it non stop when he came home. While still in the hospital we thought perhaps it was because him needing 4 liters of O2 and higher at times obviously his O2 blood levels were very low. (this can cause people to act really mean and nasty by the way or sleepy or dingy, depends on the person) But once he was weaned off the O2 it didn't improve. At home it was worse. I remember posting about how he literally drove me out to the front porch to smoke so I wouldn't say something I'd regret. I thought he was surly and a tad paranoid before the heart attack.........I'd have to multiply that by about 50 for after. I talked with easy child a lot over it. We thought it was the stages of death (same as the stages of grief), being scared, not feeling well.......all sorts of things. I still don't know for a fact of what it was. But I *think* it was related to circulation, blood O2, combined with probably blood pressure thrown in. I had noticed (in hindsight) that his surly and paranoia had gotten horrific in the weeks prior to the massive heart attack. easy child and I had diagnosed husband with congestive heart failure 2 yrs ago.......hard to miss, he had all the signs, as well as PAD (peripheral artery disease). He refused to listen to us. But I think he was probably having blood oxygen saturation issues long before the actual heart attack. I know his blood pressure was really dangerously high. (and I did try to get him to go to the doctor for it but he refused to see mine) After the heart attack.......well of course there was massive damage to the heart so of course his circulation svcked and at home his O2 saturation probably dropped but I watched for any sign of it being seriously low (blueish tinge to lips, fingers, toes ect) and never saw any. But you can have it be low enough to affect behavior without those signs. And I've had nearly 3 months in which to think of why he passed in his sleep that morning. His facial expression indicated no pain. I'm guessing that his blood O2 sat dropped dramatically as he slept causing his heart to finally just stop. easy child agrees. It makes sense with him being so blue from the neck up when I found him which was shortly after he passed. Now for what he had.......honestly, it was the best way for him to go. But I'm thinking it would be a good idea to get Tony into the family doctor for a really darn good physcial. One for blood pressure, to get his O2 sat checked.....heart checked out good ect. Because these things make you feel crappy but yet you can't quite figure out why you feel so crappy so you wind up grumpy and grouchy ect. Wouldn't hurt to have him checked out even if that is not the cause. (and I'm really hoping it's not) But he's already had one stroke.......it doesn't have to be a stroke next time. Know what I mean?? Tell Tony I said he needs that physical asap. As Esther said..........I'm glad I didn't leave husband over this crud. And you know I was tempted to do just that many a time when it got to be just too much. ((hugs)) [/QUOTE]
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