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I need to be tied to the mast.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 740047" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Albatross. I am sorry your son has taken the turn he has. And I am sorry you and your husband have suffered the effects of these choices by your son.</p><p></p><p>The image that comes to me in my mind's eye is the underbelly of love. Aka kicked in the gut. And taking measures to not be so exposed to threat. It is shocking. Shocking. That the kick to the gut comes from our children. We are physically stunned. Seized. Breathess. Doubled over. The physical pain is so intense. intolerable. And when we can think. It becomes worse.</p><p></p><p>Even more shocking is how we seek to, even crave to return to the scene of the crime. Over and over again. Fire engine chasers. Storm chasers. And we are the victims. As well as the witnesses.</p><p></p><p>It is like this forum is the victim witness program for battered parents. And typical to abuse victims we keep returning. Until we stop.</p><p></p><p>Leafy. Thank you. You sound so tranquil today. With such deep acceptance. Kind of like a river</p><p></p><p>Actually. All of you sound like a deep river. Of strength. Of acceptance. Of deep wisdom. I wish I could meet each one of you someday. To express my respect and gratitude</p><p></p><p>Elsi. . I love your poems/lyrics. I will try to google them. Where did you find the latter?</p><p></p><p>Unfortunately for you, we seem to share some of the same vulnerabilities. Is it kindness or softness or sensitivity or feeling the nuance and pathos and depth of a situation? I don't know. Is it a strength or weakness? Am I a mystic or accident waiting to happen, or both?</p><p></p><p>I am on my cell. Fingers hurt. For now.</p><p></p><p>Swot. Thank you for your kindness. And the truth. I have loved my son. And right and wrong, I love my son. You stay anchored in realistic truth, unwavering. Thank you. Again.</p><p></p><p>Tl. You say it all. You have come out on the other side. Whole. Strong. Conscious. Brave. Open. Bounded. Enduring. True.</p><p></p><p>Smitty. Thank you. For the objectivity, understanding and counsel. Especially about values.</p><p></p><p>M who I live with has gotten mad at me. He says there are times (actually most times, when we can only rightly say either yes or no).</p><p></p><p>By that he means LOSE the story. The judgement. The rationale. Just no. My values are mine. Yours are yours. My only right is to say no for me. Not you. This lesson is a tough one for me.</p><p></p><p>M's family comes to me for financial help. I suffer saying no. That's my problem he says. The suffering. Not theirs.</p><p></p><p>Same with our kids. They cannot be protected from or denied their suffering. It is theirs. To learn from or not.</p><p></p><p>As is ours for us. All of these. Tough lessons for me. Thank you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 740047, member: 18958"] Albatross. I am sorry your son has taken the turn he has. And I am sorry you and your husband have suffered the effects of these choices by your son. The image that comes to me in my mind's eye is the underbelly of love. Aka kicked in the gut. And taking measures to not be so exposed to threat. It is shocking. Shocking. That the kick to the gut comes from our children. We are physically stunned. Seized. Breathess. Doubled over. The physical pain is so intense. intolerable. And when we can think. It becomes worse. Even more shocking is how we seek to, even crave to return to the scene of the crime. Over and over again. Fire engine chasers. Storm chasers. And we are the victims. As well as the witnesses. It is like this forum is the victim witness program for battered parents. And typical to abuse victims we keep returning. Until we stop. Leafy. Thank you. You sound so tranquil today. With such deep acceptance. Kind of like a river Actually. All of you sound like a deep river. Of strength. Of acceptance. Of deep wisdom. I wish I could meet each one of you someday. To express my respect and gratitude Elsi. . I love your poems/lyrics. I will try to google them. Where did you find the latter? Unfortunately for you, we seem to share some of the same vulnerabilities. Is it kindness or softness or sensitivity or feeling the nuance and pathos and depth of a situation? I don't know. Is it a strength or weakness? Am I a mystic or accident waiting to happen, or both? I am on my cell. Fingers hurt. For now. Swot. Thank you for your kindness. And the truth. I have loved my son. And right and wrong, I love my son. You stay anchored in realistic truth, unwavering. Thank you. Again. Tl. You say it all. You have come out on the other side. Whole. Strong. Conscious. Brave. Open. Bounded. Enduring. True. Smitty. Thank you. For the objectivity, understanding and counsel. Especially about values. M who I live with has gotten mad at me. He says there are times (actually most times, when we can only rightly say either yes or no). By that he means LOSE the story. The judgement. The rationale. Just no. My values are mine. Yours are yours. My only right is to say no for me. Not you. This lesson is a tough one for me. M's family comes to me for financial help. I suffer saying no. That's my problem he says. The suffering. Not theirs. Same with our kids. They cannot be protected from or denied their suffering. It is theirs. To learn from or not. As is ours for us. All of these. Tough lessons for me. Thank you. [/QUOTE]
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