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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 740057" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>I think there will always be people who think it's your fault just as I'm sure there are those that think it's my fault. Whatever other people think of us is on them. They have not lived what we have. It took me some time but I came to a place where I really don't care what others think about me. I know the truth just as you know the truth and that is all that matters.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I don't believe this and I know that you don't either. I think we all have days like this. How could we not. For you and I Copa, we each have only one child which compounds these feelings as we have no other children to compare to. Hold on to the truth, which is you raised your son in a loving and nurturing home. No Copa, you did not create a monster.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Oh I know I did! I had too many unreasonable expectations of how my son not only should live his life but how he should overcome all his shortcomings. When our sons were little this was easy, we could correct their path as needed. Now they are grown men and we can no longer correct the path for them.</p><p></p><p></p><p>This is the life of a warrior parent. We have highs, lows and steady ground. I prefer the steady ground myself. After talking with my son today I could have easily allowed the roller coaster to take me to a high place but the problem with that is it must come down. I choose to stay on the steady ground.</p><p>I know now that there will be more contact with my son that I have to be more on my guard. It's easier for me when there is no contact.</p><p></p><p></p><p>You live the rest of your life for you because you deserve to live a life that is full and happy. </p><p></p><p>I think it's very normal for all of us to have days where we take 5 steps forward and the next we take 7 back and the next we take 10 forward. </p><p></p><p>Copa, you have grown so much and come such a long way from when you first came to this site. I'm so glad that you are a part of this forum. You have so much to offer.</p><p></p><p>Here's to better tomorrows!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 740057, member: 18516"] I think there will always be people who think it's your fault just as I'm sure there are those that think it's my fault. Whatever other people think of us is on them. They have not lived what we have. It took me some time but I came to a place where I really don't care what others think about me. I know the truth just as you know the truth and that is all that matters. I don't believe this and I know that you don't either. I think we all have days like this. How could we not. For you and I Copa, we each have only one child which compounds these feelings as we have no other children to compare to. Hold on to the truth, which is you raised your son in a loving and nurturing home. No Copa, you did not create a monster. Oh I know I did! I had too many unreasonable expectations of how my son not only should live his life but how he should overcome all his shortcomings. When our sons were little this was easy, we could correct their path as needed. Now they are grown men and we can no longer correct the path for them. This is the life of a warrior parent. We have highs, lows and steady ground. I prefer the steady ground myself. After talking with my son today I could have easily allowed the roller coaster to take me to a high place but the problem with that is it must come down. I choose to stay on the steady ground. I know now that there will be more contact with my son that I have to be more on my guard. It's easier for me when there is no contact. You live the rest of your life for you because you deserve to live a life that is full and happy. I think it's very normal for all of us to have days where we take 5 steps forward and the next we take 7 back and the next we take 10 forward. Copa, you have grown so much and come such a long way from when you first came to this site. I'm so glad that you are a part of this forum. You have so much to offer. Here's to better tomorrows!! [/QUOTE]
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