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<blockquote data-quote="Elsi" data-source="post: 740268" data-attributes="member: 23349"><p>Copa I hope you are finding a place of peace tonight, and you are coming through the choppy waters intact. I see so many parallels between the roads our sons are on. I’m struggling to stay the course here also. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I think you need to listen to your intuition, what your body and heart are telling you about what you need for yourself. We have both fought our whole lives to get to a place of peace and self awareness. And we know better than to take that for granted. We had trauma in childhood and have relieved that trauma as parents. At some point we need to honor our right to have part of our lives belong to us. Because how sad would it be if we spend our entire lives, from childhood to our deaths, sacrificed upon alters not of our own making. There does come a time when we have to say, enough. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I know. Me too. This is why I am not calling S right now. I’d rather not know. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>That’s pretty much what I got from C tonight too. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>But this is where they are both wrong. Neither is not a choice. The default is live as you choose, and live with the consequences. This is like a law of nature. To think otherwise is like saying I am going to step out of the airplane without a parachute, but I choose not to fall. Not falling isn’t an option. It’s a law of nature. This is what they are up against in their lives, too. Failing to choose is still making a choice, by default. There is no way around it. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I have thought about this many times, too! My animals are so much smarter than my kids sometimes! The little guy in the picture was a feral colony cat, until he decided he didn’t want to be anymore. He saw our other animals through the window and saw they were warm and fed and comfortable. He decided he wanted that, too, and informed us he was moving in (he didn’t give us the option of declining). He had to learn how to use a litter box instead of my houseplants or R’s shoes (we all make mistakes sometimes when learning a new environment). He had to learn how to get along with the other cats. But he was smart enough to figure out the rules he needed to follow to be part of the family, and now you’d never know he used to be feral. He’s also extremely grateful, and let’s me know every day by putting his paws around my neck and rubbing his face on mine. I would love to see C display half as much sense and gratitude.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Elsi, post: 740268, member: 23349"] Copa I hope you are finding a place of peace tonight, and you are coming through the choppy waters intact. I see so many parallels between the roads our sons are on. I’m struggling to stay the course here also. I think you need to listen to your intuition, what your body and heart are telling you about what you need for yourself. We have both fought our whole lives to get to a place of peace and self awareness. And we know better than to take that for granted. We had trauma in childhood and have relieved that trauma as parents. At some point we need to honor our right to have part of our lives belong to us. Because how sad would it be if we spend our entire lives, from childhood to our deaths, sacrificed upon alters not of our own making. There does come a time when we have to say, enough. I know. Me too. This is why I am not calling S right now. I’d rather not know. That’s pretty much what I got from C tonight too. But this is where they are both wrong. Neither is not a choice. The default is live as you choose, and live with the consequences. This is like a law of nature. To think otherwise is like saying I am going to step out of the airplane without a parachute, but I choose not to fall. Not falling isn’t an option. It’s a law of nature. This is what they are up against in their lives, too. Failing to choose is still making a choice, by default. There is no way around it. I have thought about this many times, too! My animals are so much smarter than my kids sometimes! The little guy in the picture was a feral colony cat, until he decided he didn’t want to be anymore. He saw our other animals through the window and saw they were warm and fed and comfortable. He decided he wanted that, too, and informed us he was moving in (he didn’t give us the option of declining). He had to learn how to use a litter box instead of my houseplants or R’s shoes (we all make mistakes sometimes when learning a new environment). He had to learn how to get along with the other cats. But he was smart enough to figure out the rules he needed to follow to be part of the family, and now you’d never know he used to be feral. He’s also extremely grateful, and let’s me know every day by putting his paws around my neck and rubbing his face on mine. I would love to see C display half as much sense and gratitude. [/QUOTE]
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