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<blockquote data-quote="Smithmom" data-source="post: 740305" data-attributes="member: 23371"><p>We're all allowed our feelings. You can resent him. You can fear him. He can be angry with you. For your own emotional health how do you best handle those feelings? Negative emotions like fear protect you. What does resentment do for you?</p><p></p><p>No one has answers. What works today doesn't tomorrow. If limiting yourself is good because it helps you focus on the rest of your life than do it. Might work the same for him. I think multiple times in a day probably has you focusing on negatives not positives. If he's just deflecting then he only needs to do that once a day. What's normal relationship contact for you? Are you a person talking to your best friend 10x a day or every other day? No right answer but your relationship with him you need to put in context with how you handle your relationships. First anyway.</p><p></p><p>I think some days you say I love you and that's it. Some days its I love you and here's a phone # for xyz clinic I hear they do xyz exams for free. That's it. If he says something negative you respond with I'm sorry you're cold, hungry, lonely, that's all. If he questions why you gave him the # just say that you heard about it and were sharing. Probably sharing unrequested numbers more than once a day is a lot. I think there also has to be a day when you don't contact him. See if he contacts you. But no argument with anything he says. Just let it roll off you. Just like the under the sea comment. I think that was a good reply. A happy memory in reply.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Smithmom, post: 740305, member: 23371"] We're all allowed our feelings. You can resent him. You can fear him. He can be angry with you. For your own emotional health how do you best handle those feelings? Negative emotions like fear protect you. What does resentment do for you? No one has answers. What works today doesn't tomorrow. If limiting yourself is good because it helps you focus on the rest of your life than do it. Might work the same for him. I think multiple times in a day probably has you focusing on negatives not positives. If he's just deflecting then he only needs to do that once a day. What's normal relationship contact for you? Are you a person talking to your best friend 10x a day or every other day? No right answer but your relationship with him you need to put in context with how you handle your relationships. First anyway. I think some days you say I love you and that's it. Some days its I love you and here's a phone # for xyz clinic I hear they do xyz exams for free. That's it. If he says something negative you respond with I'm sorry you're cold, hungry, lonely, that's all. If he questions why you gave him the # just say that you heard about it and were sharing. Probably sharing unrequested numbers more than once a day is a lot. I think there also has to be a day when you don't contact him. See if he contacts you. But no argument with anything he says. Just let it roll off you. Just like the under the sea comment. I think that was a good reply. A happy memory in reply. [/QUOTE]
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