Thank you, Tired Out. He is my son and my beloved. I have never loved anybody in my life like I love him. That is what makes this so horribly hard. My son has become a person I can barely tolerate and whose behavior I do not respect.
I have cognitive dissonance. I cannot reconcile:
He is my beloved....(and)...I can't stand him.
Right now, I do not know how to make sense of my quandary. But writing this helps me. I will try to figure it out.
