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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 741359" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Copa, you will be okay. Sit with your feelings and breathe through them. We all have our own range of emotions to deal with when faced with the circumstances of wayward adult children. That you are sad and thrown off base by your sons choices and dealing with M’s father’s illness, who wouldn’t be? It is a double whammy. </p><p>Yes, we are sandwiched. It’s hard. There is no respite it seems, no safe haven to hide, but work continuously to find it in ourselves, and those we love who are there for us. Sometimes finding that means taking time to rest, and allowing yourself to feel sad. </p><p>I think it is a good plan to get back to exercise and walking. I am the same, movement helps. It is so important to keep active at any age. Putting that high on the list and prioritizing our health is a way back to......sanity and <em>self care</em> which in stressful situations is even more important so that we have the strength to carry on. </p><p>I have not heard from either of my two. Tornado will be thirty soon. Another birthday approaches with no word, or knowing how she is.</p><p>It is sad. But, there is nothing I can do to change what is for both of them. </p><p>Something so simple, the recognition of having no control, can bring about so many complex emotions. It is the difference between what we wish to happen and what is. How we grasp that and move forward is the challenge.</p><p>I want to live well. No matter what my own issues and circumstances are, I want to live well. </p><p>That is entirely up to me. It took a long time for me to realize this, to address reality and past mistakes, to forgive myself for being......human.</p><p>My twos life choices have caused me to go through many changes, sometimes I stagnate and fret, other times I worry, or place blame on myself, the past. But there is nothing I can do to change what was.</p><p>What I am realizing is that it all goes back to finding my self, as they must find their own selves and figure out what this life means for them. What they want out of the short time we are all blessed with on this earth. I can go through all of the reasons why things may be as they are, like your J, head injuries, being with nefarious people, there is a list of reasons why my two choose as they do. But......there is a longer list of reasons to choose better. But they haven’t. Not yet. I haven’t given up hope that they will. I just know after so many times trying that I cannot do it for them, fix them, control their choices. </p><p>I can have some control over my own. Yes, I despair at times and I fail, as you posted to me that you feel that way. </p><p>But growth comes from this, from falling. Like a garden that has been spent and needs to be tilled, replenished with nutrients and replanted. </p><p>We are constantly growing and working to better ourselves, our reaction and response, examining when we falter and lie there stunned for a time. Finding ways to rise up and carry on despite what we are faced with. </p><p>It is life. </p><p>It is hard. </p><p>But it is still beautiful and worth treasuring each new day.</p><p>I hope this day brings you peace.</p><p>Hugs and love,</p><p>Leaf</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 741359, member: 19522"] Copa, you will be okay. Sit with your feelings and breathe through them. We all have our own range of emotions to deal with when faced with the circumstances of wayward adult children. That you are sad and thrown off base by your sons choices and dealing with M’s father’s illness, who wouldn’t be? It is a double whammy. Yes, we are sandwiched. It’s hard. There is no respite it seems, no safe haven to hide, but work continuously to find it in ourselves, and those we love who are there for us. Sometimes finding that means taking time to rest, and allowing yourself to feel sad. I think it is a good plan to get back to exercise and walking. I am the same, movement helps. It is so important to keep active at any age. Putting that high on the list and prioritizing our health is a way back to......sanity and [I]self care[/I] which in stressful situations is even more important so that we have the strength to carry on. I have not heard from either of my two. Tornado will be thirty soon. Another birthday approaches with no word, or knowing how she is. It is sad. But, there is nothing I can do to change what is for both of them. Something so simple, the recognition of having no control, can bring about so many complex emotions. It is the difference between what we wish to happen and what is. How we grasp that and move forward is the challenge. I want to live well. No matter what my own issues and circumstances are, I want to live well. That is entirely up to me. It took a long time for me to realize this, to address reality and past mistakes, to forgive myself for being......human. My twos life choices have caused me to go through many changes, sometimes I stagnate and fret, other times I worry, or place blame on myself, the past. But there is nothing I can do to change what was. What I am realizing is that it all goes back to finding my self, as they must find their own selves and figure out what this life means for them. What they want out of the short time we are all blessed with on this earth. I can go through all of the reasons why things may be as they are, like your J, head injuries, being with nefarious people, there is a list of reasons why my two choose as they do. But......there is a longer list of reasons to choose better. But they haven’t. Not yet. I haven’t given up hope that they will. I just know after so many times trying that I cannot do it for them, fix them, control their choices. I can have some control over my own. Yes, I despair at times and I fail, as you posted to me that you feel that way. But growth comes from this, from falling. Like a garden that has been spent and needs to be tilled, replenished with nutrients and replanted. We are constantly growing and working to better ourselves, our reaction and response, examining when we falter and lie there stunned for a time. Finding ways to rise up and carry on despite what we are faced with. It is life. It is hard. But it is still beautiful and worth treasuring each new day. I hope this day brings you peace. Hugs and love, Leaf [/QUOTE]
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