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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 742063" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Copa, he could qualify for services. He is not one of those adult kids who was born into advantage and screwed it up, althoigh you certainly provided everything for him. I think of him in a way as I think of Sonic, although fortunately, your son is not challenged by autism. He did however, have the misfortune of drugs in utero and who knows if that did damage? He also had two TBIs and that can change a person. None of this is your fault but for J. I would probably treat him as if he did need some extra care as an adult. Even though he wont ask for it. I do think he needs to be responsoble for any house he lives in though. He is capable of that. And my son is in a really nice apartment for adults with developmental disabilities but he still has to pay a certain amount for it. He has a payee and he is working hard to get rid of them but I think he needs a payee. You can ask for a nominal sum from your son and insist on it. I really think he is capable of both. In fact, nobody knows his potential. He wont see what he can and cant do.</p><p></p><p>Since it upsets you when he is homeless perhaps you can let certain things go. I love M. and you know that but he came into J's life late and in my opinion you, as his only parent, can make unilateral decisions for J. I did this when I married my hub. The rule was that current hub is not the father but more a friend. Myself and my ex made all decisions and did the disciplining. Since ex nebyer gave a flip, that meant I did it. It worked well for us. It also stopped the kids from resenting my hubby.</p><p></p><p>You can set up a Special Needs trust fund for him after you are gone. We did that.</p><p></p><p>Just throwing out ideas. It doesnt seem to be working for you to have J. homeless. First and foremost you need to do what YOU can stand, even if M. doesnt like it that much.</p><p></p><p>Jmo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 742063, member: 1550"] Copa, he could qualify for services. He is not one of those adult kids who was born into advantage and screwed it up, althoigh you certainly provided everything for him. I think of him in a way as I think of Sonic, although fortunately, your son is not challenged by autism. He did however, have the misfortune of drugs in utero and who knows if that did damage? He also had two TBIs and that can change a person. None of this is your fault but for J. I would probably treat him as if he did need some extra care as an adult. Even though he wont ask for it. I do think he needs to be responsoble for any house he lives in though. He is capable of that. And my son is in a really nice apartment for adults with developmental disabilities but he still has to pay a certain amount for it. He has a payee and he is working hard to get rid of them but I think he needs a payee. You can ask for a nominal sum from your son and insist on it. I really think he is capable of both. In fact, nobody knows his potential. He wont see what he can and cant do. Since it upsets you when he is homeless perhaps you can let certain things go. I love M. and you know that but he came into J's life late and in my opinion you, as his only parent, can make unilateral decisions for J. I did this when I married my hub. The rule was that current hub is not the father but more a friend. Myself and my ex made all decisions and did the disciplining. Since ex nebyer gave a flip, that meant I did it. It worked well for us. It also stopped the kids from resenting my hubby. You can set up a Special Needs trust fund for him after you are gone. We did that. Just throwing out ideas. It doesnt seem to be working for you to have J. homeless. First and foremost you need to do what YOU can stand, even if M. doesnt like it that much. Jmo [/QUOTE]
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