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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 742125" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Remember your son does qualify for services being on SSI. When you are gone, like my Sonic he has the choice of getting a payee for his SSI/money to handle his bills, getting food assistance (he can do this now), getting special consideration for housing assistance and being sent to the top of the list, Medicare and Medicaid, a Case Manager and my son gets special very cheap taxi rates (a punch card) and rides to medical appointments by private services. J's advantage is SSI. He is on the street and must know this. Whether you like that he could use these disability services or whether HE likes qualifying (or not,) he is able to use whatever is given to the disabled in your state. It is probably better than Wisconsin.</p><p></p><p>If J cares about being on the street when you are gone he will care for himself using resources. If he doesnt, he doesnt. For now, I think that if it is ruining YOUR life for him to be homeless, you can bring him into your rental house with no/few conditions. Is this enabling,? He is 30 and clearly not enabling him doesnt motivate him and tortures you. I am thinking of you. I believe he knows how to sustain himself, even if it involves services and even if he wont,/cant work. He just is being stubborn and picky. He has been offered apartments but didnt like tje neighborhood ,(so being homeless is better?) Copa he is choosing this and I am worried about how his homelessness affects YOU.</p><p></p><p>Maybe you can help him navigate the system so he knows how to do it on the off chance that he doesnt. Meanwhile during your lifetime it is not a sin to give him a place to live, free of conditions, if you know he wont do conditions, for YOUR peace of mind. To me it is not about him, but you. Whether or not your son has a high IQ, drugs in utero or TBIs or maybe simply his personality makes him unwilling or unable to work, not use pot, find housing for himself and be productive. Something in him wont let him. He is not a drug addict of hard drugs. This battle in my opinion is inside of him, independent of you. You didnt cause this. Not at all. Dont ever blame yourself.</p><p></p><p>If it helps YOU to give him a roof, then in my opinion there is nothing wrong with it. As long as you understand its for your peace of mind, not to give him adulting experiences. He knows how to adult. He either wont or cant or a little of both. And adulting is what we cant make them do.</p><p></p><p>My two cents (jmo) is to do what your heart can stand...to make your life more bearable. You know what that is. Nobody else does. It just seems to me, as an outsider, that J being out of touch is immensely hard on you .Harder than for some, maybe because he is an only child. Your love for him is admirably huge! I dont know what would help you. Only you know.</p><p></p><p>Hugs!!</p><p></p><p>Light and love.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 742125, member: 1550"] Remember your son does qualify for services being on SSI. When you are gone, like my Sonic he has the choice of getting a payee for his SSI/money to handle his bills, getting food assistance (he can do this now), getting special consideration for housing assistance and being sent to the top of the list, Medicare and Medicaid, a Case Manager and my son gets special very cheap taxi rates (a punch card) and rides to medical appointments by private services. J's advantage is SSI. He is on the street and must know this. Whether you like that he could use these disability services or whether HE likes qualifying (or not,) he is able to use whatever is given to the disabled in your state. It is probably better than Wisconsin. If J cares about being on the street when you are gone he will care for himself using resources. If he doesnt, he doesnt. For now, I think that if it is ruining YOUR life for him to be homeless, you can bring him into your rental house with no/few conditions. Is this enabling,? He is 30 and clearly not enabling him doesnt motivate him and tortures you. I am thinking of you. I believe he knows how to sustain himself, even if it involves services and even if he wont,/cant work. He just is being stubborn and picky. He has been offered apartments but didnt like tje neighborhood ,(so being homeless is better?) Copa he is choosing this and I am worried about how his homelessness affects YOU. Maybe you can help him navigate the system so he knows how to do it on the off chance that he doesnt. Meanwhile during your lifetime it is not a sin to give him a place to live, free of conditions, if you know he wont do conditions, for YOUR peace of mind. To me it is not about him, but you. Whether or not your son has a high IQ, drugs in utero or TBIs or maybe simply his personality makes him unwilling or unable to work, not use pot, find housing for himself and be productive. Something in him wont let him. He is not a drug addict of hard drugs. This battle in my opinion is inside of him, independent of you. You didnt cause this. Not at all. Dont ever blame yourself. If it helps YOU to give him a roof, then in my opinion there is nothing wrong with it. As long as you understand its for your peace of mind, not to give him adulting experiences. He knows how to adult. He either wont or cant or a little of both. And adulting is what we cant make them do. My two cents (jmo) is to do what your heart can stand...to make your life more bearable. You know what that is. Nobody else does. It just seems to me, as an outsider, that J being out of touch is immensely hard on you .Harder than for some, maybe because he is an only child. Your love for him is admirably huge! I dont know what would help you. Only you know. Hugs!! Light and love. [/QUOTE]
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