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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 742139" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Do you really think he would work with those people? He didnt do these things for you. Why will he agree to let others tell him what to do? Take care of his money? Other things?</p><p></p><p>He is not going to quit pot and is rather used to the street life now. In all seriousness, he has learned street living and doesnt seem to mind it. He has a place to wash and groom, which is important to him. He doesnt seem to care if he sleeps in a bed or a car or he would follow your rules or accept Section 8. He doesnt seem to give a flip about adult services to help him jumpstart his life. He would rather do the minimal. He is NOT alone in this. There are kids and adults who chose to live off the grid, in slab and tent cities on purpose, in vehicals, and in the forests. I dont get it anymore than you do but its true.</p><p></p><p>The one thing that makes me believe though that he is quite mentally ill (beyond anxiety....anxiety is not a serious or delusional disorder unless it is paired with something psychotic,) is that people have a strong drive to live unless they are suicidal ,( again dangerously mentally ill. Even depression can cause this,). But he hasnt tried to kill himself. Talks about it... they all do....but never ever tried that, as far as I know. So I think he wants to live but ONLY his way. So what makes me feel he is not thinking completely sane?</p><p></p><p>Copa he has a serious physical illness that HE KNOWS can and may kill him if he doesnt get treatment and yet he either doesnt believe this or, worse, doesnt care. So I dont know how clear his thinking is. His self preservation skills are low. Do you know why that is? Do you know why he wont accept SSI services that most street people accept? To make his chosen hard life a little easier? I also think body dysmorphia is serious. Its like anorexia. You have a delusional view of your body. Has he ever told a psychiatrist about this? Or his balding obsesdion. The balding obsession is ruining his life and is distorted thinking.</p><p></p><p>Your son is a very different kind of guy who does not seem to have the same priorities as most people. And maybe some delusions about his body, about balding about the government...</p><p></p><p>Now this is all up to you, but if it were my kid I would probably not expect him to act in a mainstream way. I would consider him sick physically and mentally.I would probably let him live in that house you bought with few demands, but one demand would be that he gets medical treatment for his hepatitis. I would tell him I had to go with and have written permission to go to appointments. That would be my first and maybe only demand.That is what someone like me (possibly not you...we are all different) would worry over the most. Nothing would come close with me. </p><p></p><p>I would say that getting mental healthcare could be a condition too, and fessing up to the body dysmorphia, but pushing him to do that hasnt worked before. One step at a time? I am pretending he is my child....so this is how I would prioritize. Again, it is fine if we dont think the same. My two cents is worth not even two cents. After all, J is NOT my child so how do I really know what I would do???</p><p></p><p>Getting back to my main point, in the end you can only do what you can bear. If you truly feel better when J is not there, that is a very acceptable option...to continue as is. As it stands now, J. does not serm eager to change how he lives his life. You can also bring him home with no conditions unless you want to force him to care for his liver. Whatever would make YOU most content. I think we all have a huge care and even love for you and J and truly just wish the best. We as people have to survive. We must not get sick from stress. You too!</p><p></p><p>Now I KNOW what would make you feel the best is if J changed to embracing your hopes for him. But right now that does not seem to be an option. Maybe later.</p><p></p><p>Please do what is best for you so you can stop suffering. You dont deserve to suffer.</p><p></p><p>I send you the hope of peace and the love of G-d.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 742139, member: 1550"] Do you really think he would work with those people? He didnt do these things for you. Why will he agree to let others tell him what to do? Take care of his money? Other things? He is not going to quit pot and is rather used to the street life now. In all seriousness, he has learned street living and doesnt seem to mind it. He has a place to wash and groom, which is important to him. He doesnt seem to care if he sleeps in a bed or a car or he would follow your rules or accept Section 8. He doesnt seem to give a flip about adult services to help him jumpstart his life. He would rather do the minimal. He is NOT alone in this. There are kids and adults who chose to live off the grid, in slab and tent cities on purpose, in vehicals, and in the forests. I dont get it anymore than you do but its true. The one thing that makes me believe though that he is quite mentally ill (beyond anxiety....anxiety is not a serious or delusional disorder unless it is paired with something psychotic,) is that people have a strong drive to live unless they are suicidal ,( again dangerously mentally ill. Even depression can cause this,). But he hasnt tried to kill himself. Talks about it... they all do....but never ever tried that, as far as I know. So I think he wants to live but ONLY his way. So what makes me feel he is not thinking completely sane? Copa he has a serious physical illness that HE KNOWS can and may kill him if he doesnt get treatment and yet he either doesnt believe this or, worse, doesnt care. So I dont know how clear his thinking is. His self preservation skills are low. Do you know why that is? Do you know why he wont accept SSI services that most street people accept? To make his chosen hard life a little easier? I also think body dysmorphia is serious. Its like anorexia. You have a delusional view of your body. Has he ever told a psychiatrist about this? Or his balding obsesdion. The balding obsession is ruining his life and is distorted thinking. Your son is a very different kind of guy who does not seem to have the same priorities as most people. And maybe some delusions about his body, about balding about the government... Now this is all up to you, but if it were my kid I would probably not expect him to act in a mainstream way. I would consider him sick physically and mentally.I would probably let him live in that house you bought with few demands, but one demand would be that he gets medical treatment for his hepatitis. I would tell him I had to go with and have written permission to go to appointments. That would be my first and maybe only demand.That is what someone like me (possibly not you...we are all different) would worry over the most. Nothing would come close with me. I would say that getting mental healthcare could be a condition too, and fessing up to the body dysmorphia, but pushing him to do that hasnt worked before. One step at a time? I am pretending he is my child....so this is how I would prioritize. Again, it is fine if we dont think the same. My two cents is worth not even two cents. After all, J is NOT my child so how do I really know what I would do??? Getting back to my main point, in the end you can only do what you can bear. If you truly feel better when J is not there, that is a very acceptable option...to continue as is. As it stands now, J. does not serm eager to change how he lives his life. You can also bring him home with no conditions unless you want to force him to care for his liver. Whatever would make YOU most content. I think we all have a huge care and even love for you and J and truly just wish the best. We as people have to survive. We must not get sick from stress. You too! Now I KNOW what would make you feel the best is if J changed to embracing your hopes for him. But right now that does not seem to be an option. Maybe later. Please do what is best for you so you can stop suffering. You dont deserve to suffer. I send you the hope of peace and the love of G-d. [/QUOTE]
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