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<blockquote data-quote="Elsi" data-source="post: 742141" data-attributes="member: 23349"><p>Copa, I think setting up systems that get you out of the management role is on the right track. Ultimately, you want him to be set up to be ok without your management and involvement. </p><p></p><p>It still seems to me that you are trying to control an awful lot one way or another, though. You can have a no drugs policy for the property, but how would you go about enforcing it, for J or anyone else? Aren’t you just setting yourself up for inevitable conflict? Do you think he’ll be willing to work with a bookkeeper and follow a strict budget? You say you want him to share the apartment with others - is he capable of living well with others? And how will you enforce your stipulation that he get medical care? It might help, as SWOT suggests, to really dial back your expectations to the essentials. Automated rent payment. Take care of the property. </p><p></p><p>I didn’t realize he had hepatitis. That is concerning and I hope he will do what he needs to do to get treatment. Unfortunately I don’t know you can force it if he won’t comply though. Same with mental health. I can’t get either of mine to comply with any mental health treatment. </p><p></p><p>He reminds me of C in a lot of ways. C does not want to comply with normal societal expectations either. He seems more or less happy to live on the fringes. He would like more comfortable and stable living quarters but seems unwilling to work for it. He does work sporadically, but if he had SSI I don’t think he would. He has always skated by on the minimum. He doesn’t seem to think beyond the next meal, the next drink, tonight’s sleeping arrangements. He is very well spoken and charming and people really like him, until he wears out his welcome. </p><p></p><p>I wish I had clear answers for you. I know this is hard.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Elsi, post: 742141, member: 23349"] Copa, I think setting up systems that get you out of the management role is on the right track. Ultimately, you want him to be set up to be ok without your management and involvement. It still seems to me that you are trying to control an awful lot one way or another, though. You can have a no drugs policy for the property, but how would you go about enforcing it, for J or anyone else? Aren’t you just setting yourself up for inevitable conflict? Do you think he’ll be willing to work with a bookkeeper and follow a strict budget? You say you want him to share the apartment with others - is he capable of living well with others? And how will you enforce your stipulation that he get medical care? It might help, as SWOT suggests, to really dial back your expectations to the essentials. Automated rent payment. Take care of the property. I didn’t realize he had hepatitis. That is concerning and I hope he will do what he needs to do to get treatment. Unfortunately I don’t know you can force it if he won’t comply though. Same with mental health. I can’t get either of mine to comply with any mental health treatment. He reminds me of C in a lot of ways. C does not want to comply with normal societal expectations either. He seems more or less happy to live on the fringes. He would like more comfortable and stable living quarters but seems unwilling to work for it. He does work sporadically, but if he had SSI I don’t think he would. He has always skated by on the minimum. He doesn’t seem to think beyond the next meal, the next drink, tonight’s sleeping arrangements. He is very well spoken and charming and people really like him, until he wears out his welcome. I wish I had clear answers for you. I know this is hard. [/QUOTE]
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