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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 742143" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I will start with this, SWOT. Because it means so much to me, that you hold hope for us.This is my son. Unfortunately as time goes by he is less and less appealing. He used to maintain his appearance. Now, except for cleanliness, he could care less. But still, people care about him, give him a hand. Normal people. When he first left here four years ago an ex- friend let him stay at his beach motel, an international destination, paying nothing for more than 2 years. My son could never understand why the help ran out. It ended with the guy telling him to not come near the place. Especially when my son started using the hoody. The hoody has only been about two plus years.You're right SWOT. I see that.</p><p>I wonder myself. There are two types of body dysmorphia. One is like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and Anorexia. The other is a type of a delusional disorder. I am uncertain myself. Just yesterday I looked again at the difference between the diagnoses.</p><p>His judgment is bad. He is in denial about his illness. He used to think he could control his illness through diet and supplements. Now he doesn't try, as far as I know. He is just in denial and says his viral load is fine, and the Doctor is pleased. (!!??)</p><p></p><p>He has some insight about the hair. The thing that makes me believe it might not be a delusion is sometimes he will refer to his condition as body dysmorphia. He is aware that he has a problem. He does have a receding hairline. He knows that other men with receding hairlines do not freak out. His friend H has less hair, for example. And my son is aware that it is his own psychology, not a realistic difference, that distinguishes him from H. He knows that. H says that when he tries to talk to him about his hair, my son just smiles. (When J lived with H and his father, he did not use his hoody in the house. I asked him why. He answered: "You have to draw the line somewhere.")</p><p></p><p>J. had a psychiatrist, actually a child psychoanalyst. (Actually, I was the main patient. So that I could cope. This was mainly until J. was about 18. Age 11 to 18, pretty regularly unless we were out of the country. The last time he saw him was maybe 3 or 4 years ago. He referred to J as self-aware. He had no idea why J. was having such a hard time. (!!??) Self-aware does not sound delusional.</p><p></p><p>But I agree, taken together, he is seriously mentally ill. The denial. The poor decisions and judgement. The poor functioning. The anhedonia. The body dysmorphia. The mood disorder. Anxiety.</p><p></p><p>OMG, SWOT. I tried this. We went together on the train to the metro. I ended up collapsed. And after 12 hours on the road, he did NOT GO. He left me in a Starbucks sick, and said he would go on the street car. Within 45 minutes he was back. No doctor. That does not mean that I should not try again.</p><p></p><p>I have taken him to the laboratory for his tests and he sabotages it. I cannot control him. If there was an agreement that he will have to leave if he does not keep the agreement that he get healthcare, and I followed through, then maybe. (Maybe this episode of kicking him out may have served some role. Maybe he understands now a bit more that he cannot have everything according to his own rules and whims.) I have to have hope.</p><p>But SWOT. How do I do this? This has been my number one priority. I could not even get him to accept rehab after the Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). He could qualify for Victim Witness therapy benefits, because he was hit on the head (the second head trauma) about 4 years ago and there is a police report. We have talked about it, to no end.</p><p></p><p>But I never threw him out because he did not follow through to get therapy. And I never made it a condition of coming back, that he have it in place (already) and maintain it. Like everything else he promised. And it was just words.</p><p></p><p>Maybe I could set as conditions, to come back, you need to set up therapy, have a schedule in place, have gone to your first visit.</p><p></p><p>And the same with the liver. Get tested. See the doctor. Have medication and be medication compliant.</p><p></p><p>Maybe I did not push hard enough. I am so confused. Did I push too hard or not enough?</p><p>Thank you so very much. It is reciprocated and greatly appreciated.</p><p></p><p>So this is where we are now:</p><p></p><p>Treatment for his liver.</p><p>Mental Health treatment.</p><p>Pay rent, with an automatic deduction.</p><p></p><p>No property manager.</p><p>No roommate for now.</p><p></p><p>Thank you SWOT and Elsi.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 742143, member: 18958"] I will start with this, SWOT. Because it means so much to me, that you hold hope for us.This is my son. Unfortunately as time goes by he is less and less appealing. He used to maintain his appearance. Now, except for cleanliness, he could care less. But still, people care about him, give him a hand. Normal people. When he first left here four years ago an ex- friend let him stay at his beach motel, an international destination, paying nothing for more than 2 years. My son could never understand why the help ran out. It ended with the guy telling him to not come near the place. Especially when my son started using the hoody. The hoody has only been about two plus years.You're right SWOT. I see that. I wonder myself. There are two types of body dysmorphia. One is like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and Anorexia. The other is a type of a delusional disorder. I am uncertain myself. Just yesterday I looked again at the difference between the diagnoses. His judgment is bad. He is in denial about his illness. He used to think he could control his illness through diet and supplements. Now he doesn't try, as far as I know. He is just in denial and says his viral load is fine, and the Doctor is pleased. (!!??) He has some insight about the hair. The thing that makes me believe it might not be a delusion is sometimes he will refer to his condition as body dysmorphia. He is aware that he has a problem. He does have a receding hairline. He knows that other men with receding hairlines do not freak out. His friend H has less hair, for example. And my son is aware that it is his own psychology, not a realistic difference, that distinguishes him from H. He knows that. H says that when he tries to talk to him about his hair, my son just smiles. (When J lived with H and his father, he did not use his hoody in the house. I asked him why. He answered: "You have to draw the line somewhere.") J. had a psychiatrist, actually a child psychoanalyst. (Actually, I was the main patient. So that I could cope. This was mainly until J. was about 18. Age 11 to 18, pretty regularly unless we were out of the country. The last time he saw him was maybe 3 or 4 years ago. He referred to J as self-aware. He had no idea why J. was having such a hard time. (!!??) Self-aware does not sound delusional. But I agree, taken together, he is seriously mentally ill. The denial. The poor decisions and judgement. The poor functioning. The anhedonia. The body dysmorphia. The mood disorder. Anxiety. OMG, SWOT. I tried this. We went together on the train to the metro. I ended up collapsed. And after 12 hours on the road, he did NOT GO. He left me in a Starbucks sick, and said he would go on the street car. Within 45 minutes he was back. No doctor. That does not mean that I should not try again. I have taken him to the laboratory for his tests and he sabotages it. I cannot control him. If there was an agreement that he will have to leave if he does not keep the agreement that he get healthcare, and I followed through, then maybe. (Maybe this episode of kicking him out may have served some role. Maybe he understands now a bit more that he cannot have everything according to his own rules and whims.) I have to have hope. But SWOT. How do I do this? This has been my number one priority. I could not even get him to accept rehab after the Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). He could qualify for Victim Witness therapy benefits, because he was hit on the head (the second head trauma) about 4 years ago and there is a police report. We have talked about it, to no end. But I never threw him out because he did not follow through to get therapy. And I never made it a condition of coming back, that he have it in place (already) and maintain it. Like everything else he promised. And it was just words. Maybe I could set as conditions, to come back, you need to set up therapy, have a schedule in place, have gone to your first visit. And the same with the liver. Get tested. See the doctor. Have medication and be medication compliant. Maybe I did not push hard enough. I am so confused. Did I push too hard or not enough? Thank you so very much. It is reciprocated and greatly appreciated. So this is where we are now: Treatment for his liver. Mental Health treatment. Pay rent, with an automatic deduction. No property manager. No roommate for now. Thank you SWOT and Elsi. [/QUOTE]
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