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I need to be tied to the mast.
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<blockquote data-quote="Elsi" data-source="post: 742529" data-attributes="member: 23349"><p>I am in the exact same spot today. Tomorrow is C's birthday. He's been texting sporadically over the last few weeks, and I got an "oh yeah, we should hook up, definitely" a few days ago, but now that I am trying to make concrete plans it is crickets. Both C and S do this to me ALL THE TIME. I expect it. They'll make plans and bail on me, without notice, while I'm on my way to pick them up. </p><p></p><p>I've learned I can't take it personally. It just is, like the weather. It is a reflection of the very chaotic lives they are living. Trying to ascribe meaning to it is pointless. Maybe they found something better to do. Maybe they aren't in great shape and decided they didn't want me to see them in their current state. Maybe they forgot. Maybe they lost their phones again or are out of minutes. Maybe, yes, they are mad at me for something I'm not even aware that I did. Who knows? </p><p></p><p>Remember the Buddhist story of the second arrow? His failure to respond to you is the first arrow. That hurts. But you don't have to shoot yourself with the second arrow. You don't have to go looking for meanings and interpretations.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Elsi, post: 742529, member: 23349"] I am in the exact same spot today. Tomorrow is C's birthday. He's been texting sporadically over the last few weeks, and I got an "oh yeah, we should hook up, definitely" a few days ago, but now that I am trying to make concrete plans it is crickets. Both C and S do this to me ALL THE TIME. I expect it. They'll make plans and bail on me, without notice, while I'm on my way to pick them up. I've learned I can't take it personally. It just is, like the weather. It is a reflection of the very chaotic lives they are living. Trying to ascribe meaning to it is pointless. Maybe they found something better to do. Maybe they aren't in great shape and decided they didn't want me to see them in their current state. Maybe they forgot. Maybe they lost their phones again or are out of minutes. Maybe, yes, they are mad at me for something I'm not even aware that I did. Who knows? Remember the Buddhist story of the second arrow? His failure to respond to you is the first arrow. That hurts. But you don't have to shoot yourself with the second arrow. You don't have to go looking for meanings and interpretations. [/QUOTE]
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