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I opted out - not sure how I feel
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 726359" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am proud of you. You refused to waste an hour of your time dealing with someone who is still lying to everyone. Why should you spend your time dealing with his problems when HE won't deal with them?</p><p></p><p>It seems all he wants from you is more money for less effort. That just isn't how the world works. Isn't it time he learned this?</p><p></p><p>He will be angry about your refusal to participate in this family therapy. Don't EVER let him use it as a club against you! "You wouldn't even come spend an hour of time in therapy when I was in rehab. You don't care about me. That is why you won't help me and the dealer is going to kill me/I am going to freeze to death/die of starvation/be eaten by velociraptors!" </p><p></p><p>Just hang up when he starts this nonsense. Or leave. Or pull over at the nearest opportunity and kick him out of the car. I am serious. You don't deserve that behavior and he needs the logical consequences of his behavior. </p><p></p><p>If his therapist is any good, she will use the time to explore with him the reasons why you felt it was a bad investment of your time to attend this therapy session. I hope she is good enough to do this. It might be very helpful to him. </p><p></p><p>Either way, kudos to you for staying away!! I don't think parents should always show up, time after time, when it is clear to them that their child is not invested in what is going on. Why should the parent invest more in the child's rehab than the child? I think that is where you are now. You are more interested in him having a good, clean, sober life than he is. You might even have to think about letting him go to live his life without your support, on his own terms and dollars. </p><p></p><p>(((((hugs))))) I know this was not easy and you are second guessing yourself. I think you did absolutely the right thing!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 726359, member: 1233"] I am proud of you. You refused to waste an hour of your time dealing with someone who is still lying to everyone. Why should you spend your time dealing with his problems when HE won't deal with them? It seems all he wants from you is more money for less effort. That just isn't how the world works. Isn't it time he learned this? He will be angry about your refusal to participate in this family therapy. Don't EVER let him use it as a club against you! "You wouldn't even come spend an hour of time in therapy when I was in rehab. You don't care about me. That is why you won't help me and the dealer is going to kill me/I am going to freeze to death/die of starvation/be eaten by velociraptors!" Just hang up when he starts this nonsense. Or leave. Or pull over at the nearest opportunity and kick him out of the car. I am serious. You don't deserve that behavior and he needs the logical consequences of his behavior. If his therapist is any good, she will use the time to explore with him the reasons why you felt it was a bad investment of your time to attend this therapy session. I hope she is good enough to do this. It might be very helpful to him. Either way, kudos to you for staying away!! I don't think parents should always show up, time after time, when it is clear to them that their child is not invested in what is going on. Why should the parent invest more in the child's rehab than the child? I think that is where you are now. You are more interested in him having a good, clean, sober life than he is. You might even have to think about letting him go to live his life without your support, on his own terms and dollars. (((((hugs))))) I know this was not easy and you are second guessing yourself. I think you did absolutely the right thing! [/QUOTE]
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I opted out - not sure how I feel
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