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I opted out - not sure how I feel
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<blockquote data-quote="startingfresh" data-source="post: 726373" data-attributes="member: 22380"><p>Sam3 , your post struck a chord with me as I have been thinking a lot about the time we spent working as a family in therapy to understand each other and explore what role we might have in our sons struggles. I had been extremely willing to look at myself and say where I could have been a better parent or handled something better, etc. As a matter of fact, when my son was away in treatment 3 years ago we had to write an apology letter getting things off our chest that we maybe as parents regretted. And I poured out my heart with things that I was less than perfect on as a mom. BUT now I realize that I said I could have been better or I am sorry for whatever because I felt that was what I needed to do to fix my son. To own something myself, that perhaps I did this or I did that that led to his choices. But today I want to stand up and scream and say, you know what? I was a really good, loving parent that was there for my son every step of the way and he is the one who made these choices. These bad choices to rage at us, to stop going to school, to use drugs, to quit sports, to not take medicine that would help. He continues to be the one who is hell bent determined to go it his way and push us far far away. Not me, not my spouse, not his 3 sisters. Yes his social anxiety and depression are factors but he is the one choosing not to handle them despite years and years of me dragging him to therapy and different doctors. At this point, he is 18 and doing things his way. If I found myself back requested to family therapy, I think I would be right where you are. I am not interested in getting dragged into the emotional vortex of lies and accusations and half truths. I am sure I am already suffering PTSD from the awful things he has said to me the past few years.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="startingfresh, post: 726373, member: 22380"] Sam3 , your post struck a chord with me as I have been thinking a lot about the time we spent working as a family in therapy to understand each other and explore what role we might have in our sons struggles. I had been extremely willing to look at myself and say where I could have been a better parent or handled something better, etc. As a matter of fact, when my son was away in treatment 3 years ago we had to write an apology letter getting things off our chest that we maybe as parents regretted. And I poured out my heart with things that I was less than perfect on as a mom. BUT now I realize that I said I could have been better or I am sorry for whatever because I felt that was what I needed to do to fix my son. To own something myself, that perhaps I did this or I did that that led to his choices. But today I want to stand up and scream and say, you know what? I was a really good, loving parent that was there for my son every step of the way and he is the one who made these choices. These bad choices to rage at us, to stop going to school, to use drugs, to quit sports, to not take medicine that would help. He continues to be the one who is hell bent determined to go it his way and push us far far away. Not me, not my spouse, not his 3 sisters. Yes his social anxiety and depression are factors but he is the one choosing not to handle them despite years and years of me dragging him to therapy and different doctors. At this point, he is 18 and doing things his way. If I found myself back requested to family therapy, I think I would be right where you are. I am not interested in getting dragged into the emotional vortex of lies and accusations and half truths. I am sure I am already suffering PTSD from the awful things he has said to me the past few years. [/QUOTE]
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