She's seeing a psychiatrist but currently refusing medications. I really wish I could have put her in some sort of residential treatment when she was younger. To be honest? And I don't want to sound like I am blaming here, but I do believe a good part of some of my instability was made worse by fighting a daily battle with her for years. I wouldn't wish single parenting on anybody, especially parenting a mentally ill child. I have had no back up for the last 12 years. It's been hard. When I first starting working at my job, I remember seeing all these kids in group homes and feeling so sorry for them, and hearing all of my coworkers say how they couldn't believe that some of these parents just abandon their children, all because they are a "little" difficult. There are two sides to every story, and I always keep that in mind when I come in contact with some of these students. I see their good side. What goes on behind closed doors is a different story. I wish I knew more about some alternative living arrangements for my daughter when she was younger, if I would have even allowed myself to let her go without feeling like a terrible mother, that is. Anyway, that's neither here or there. She's an adult now, and won't go. I feel bad for saying this but sometimes she feels like a big huge burden and I will never be free of it.
