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I think I am ready to give up on her
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<blockquote data-quote="ma2sevn" data-source="post: 94140" data-attributes="member: 4056"><p>Dont give up yet!!!! (ok maybe in your mind you can take a mental vacation and picture yourself throwing in the towel) . I read your post not long after you sent it but really thought others with more expierience would chime in, must be the hour. ANyway I cant stand thinking you are out there feeling so alone. I had a 17 yr old who is now 21. Shes better now cause I dont live with her, but she actually left home at 17 and I was glad to see her go. SHe has some mental issues. Combined with her attachment disorder. But she lived every and any where and lived scum of the earth nasty and got into all kinds of stuff. But she had been told what to do all of her life in foster care and then we were rude enough to adopt her (just kidding) and she didnt get the pony in the backyard and phone in her room that she wanted and so she was hard to live with. I got on Paxil and it helped me alot. She stopped taking medications herself. Anyway, I fought so hard to get through to her that I made myself sick. And it does take so much away from the other kids...plus it is a trauma to them to see such family turmoil. We had the cops at our house and she was in handcuffs just so proud of herself. It has affected my 12 yr old alot. Now this girl is 21 and on her 2nd baby. but she is holding down a job. If she werent preg I think she would be back in the drug scene and probably prostitution.</p><p>I said all that to say, I feel for you. And I dont think your girl sounds as bad off as mine was, so hang in there. I hope some others come along and say it more effectivly. But I do think you need her on medications and if you pay the cell bill....stop if she wont even answer. As far as foster care, here in MO. children can stay in care till 21 if they stay in school. It is a drastic way to go, so check out the benefits involved. Some states may not have a plan for 17 yr olds. But it could get her in an authoritive setting that will keep her safe while she is in this stage. Again, it is a drastic move. But make sure you arent giving your rights up..that can be considered abandonment and you would have to pay child support possibly..make sure you would be in joint custody with the state. If she is that wild in a foster home, she would likey end up in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC)..residental treatment facility, and the state would be paying for it. But you could have her placed in one all by yourself...with your psychiatrist. Or before that, just a mental health hospital stay...to get her stable on medications. Some take insurance and some dont. </p><p>I may be jumping the gun here even giving my expierince about state care. Ultamatly her staying in your home is the best, but her safety is important to. Hang in there, your a good parent.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ma2sevn, post: 94140, member: 4056"] Dont give up yet!!!! (ok maybe in your mind you can take a mental vacation and picture yourself throwing in the towel) . I read your post not long after you sent it but really thought others with more expierience would chime in, must be the hour. ANyway I cant stand thinking you are out there feeling so alone. I had a 17 yr old who is now 21. Shes better now cause I dont live with her, but she actually left home at 17 and I was glad to see her go. SHe has some mental issues. Combined with her attachment disorder. But she lived every and any where and lived scum of the earth nasty and got into all kinds of stuff. But she had been told what to do all of her life in foster care and then we were rude enough to adopt her (just kidding) and she didnt get the pony in the backyard and phone in her room that she wanted and so she was hard to live with. I got on Paxil and it helped me alot. She stopped taking medications herself. Anyway, I fought so hard to get through to her that I made myself sick. And it does take so much away from the other kids...plus it is a trauma to them to see such family turmoil. We had the cops at our house and she was in handcuffs just so proud of herself. It has affected my 12 yr old alot. Now this girl is 21 and on her 2nd baby. but she is holding down a job. If she werent preg I think she would be back in the drug scene and probably prostitution. I said all that to say, I feel for you. And I dont think your girl sounds as bad off as mine was, so hang in there. I hope some others come along and say it more effectivly. But I do think you need her on medications and if you pay the cell bill....stop if she wont even answer. As far as foster care, here in MO. children can stay in care till 21 if they stay in school. It is a drastic way to go, so check out the benefits involved. Some states may not have a plan for 17 yr olds. But it could get her in an authoritive setting that will keep her safe while she is in this stage. Again, it is a drastic move. But make sure you arent giving your rights up..that can be considered abandonment and you would have to pay child support possibly..make sure you would be in joint custody with the state. If she is that wild in a foster home, she would likey end up in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC)..residental treatment facility, and the state would be paying for it. But you could have her placed in one all by yourself...with your psychiatrist. Or before that, just a mental health hospital stay...to get her stable on medications. Some take insurance and some dont. I may be jumping the gun here even giving my expierince about state care. Ultamatly her staying in your home is the best, but her safety is important to. Hang in there, your a good parent. [/QUOTE]
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