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I think I am ready to give up on her
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<blockquote data-quote="ma2sevn" data-source="post: 94153" data-attributes="member: 4056"><p>Lilliana,</p><p>The more I read and think about your difficult child, it does sound like grandios thinking. Are you able to get your psychiatrist on the phone easily? Tommorrow I would suggest you get in touch with him or her. I am hearing big safety issues. Some kids(mine did) rebel the harder you close in on thier freedom. And she sounds like her risk taking behaviors are probably even out of control for her. Try to keep in mind she cant say thank you for your help right now but she hopefully will someday ( may be a long way down the road). The whole "sexual activity" issue is mind boggeling these days. It used to be that sex with a boyfriend was bad enough but I know my daughter didnt even know half of the guys she was withs name!. So you have things there to worry about too. Is she on birth control? Do you have any little bit of a relationship left with her? When she is being good does she tell you any of her struggles? Like the manic feelings? I am a little curious if she is using drugs and your seeing the mania there and thats why she isnt as depressed....? Just a thought.</p><p>I sure hope I am not making you feel worse. I dont know allot about drug useage and how it "looks", but you could post over on the forum for substance abuse. It dosent rally matter, though..she needs stablization, and I think you should consider a hospital stay for that. There they can keep her in a safe place while she sobers up from anything..perscribed or not...and get a clear picture of what you are dealing with. THEN, you can go forward. They will also be a resource for your family to get caounseling as well as her. They can also make reccommendations for her further treatment.</p><p>No way are you a weakling...you care. I realy struggle with sometimes being too lienient. I remember learning that old saying...pick your battles, and since we have had so many, I let allot go. Hind sight is 20/20 but you do what you know to do at the time. I think one of the best things I ever did was take care of me. It took me a long time to finally do it though. I got me on medications and a therapist and prayed alot. And I got some emotional distance. But it is also such a loss...your baby growing away from you is a loss. Be kind to yourself and give yourself permisson to forget for a while. ANd if you marriage is still there, invest in it. The statistics for adoptive parents is quite high due to the problems thes kids have, so I am guessing non adoptive parents with difficult child's would be the same. It is a huge stress. But if he was there before you difficult child, he may be the one who is still there after she is on her own. I dont know your issues with your husb, maybe he is a louse. But men dont think the way we do about all this stuff I am convinced. They do care they just handle it different. I would just hate for you to lose the one person you may have invested yourself in, and then you difficult child get all your attention and realy not even care right now. Just remember you arent really able to see past your immediate circumstances right now...maybe not a good time to make big decisons. Its late, maybe I am just babbling.....I just wanted to send you support and encouragement. Hang in there.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ma2sevn, post: 94153, member: 4056"] Lilliana, The more I read and think about your difficult child, it does sound like grandios thinking. Are you able to get your psychiatrist on the phone easily? Tommorrow I would suggest you get in touch with him or her. I am hearing big safety issues. Some kids(mine did) rebel the harder you close in on thier freedom. And she sounds like her risk taking behaviors are probably even out of control for her. Try to keep in mind she cant say thank you for your help right now but she hopefully will someday ( may be a long way down the road). The whole "sexual activity" issue is mind boggeling these days. It used to be that sex with a boyfriend was bad enough but I know my daughter didnt even know half of the guys she was withs name!. So you have things there to worry about too. Is she on birth control? Do you have any little bit of a relationship left with her? When she is being good does she tell you any of her struggles? Like the manic feelings? I am a little curious if she is using drugs and your seeing the mania there and thats why she isnt as depressed....? Just a thought. I sure hope I am not making you feel worse. I dont know allot about drug useage and how it "looks", but you could post over on the forum for substance abuse. It dosent rally matter, though..she needs stablization, and I think you should consider a hospital stay for that. There they can keep her in a safe place while she sobers up from anything..perscribed or not...and get a clear picture of what you are dealing with. THEN, you can go forward. They will also be a resource for your family to get caounseling as well as her. They can also make reccommendations for her further treatment. No way are you a weakling...you care. I realy struggle with sometimes being too lienient. I remember learning that old saying...pick your battles, and since we have had so many, I let allot go. Hind sight is 20/20 but you do what you know to do at the time. I think one of the best things I ever did was take care of me. It took me a long time to finally do it though. I got me on medications and a therapist and prayed alot. And I got some emotional distance. But it is also such a loss...your baby growing away from you is a loss. Be kind to yourself and give yourself permisson to forget for a while. ANd if you marriage is still there, invest in it. The statistics for adoptive parents is quite high due to the problems thes kids have, so I am guessing non adoptive parents with difficult child's would be the same. It is a huge stress. But if he was there before you difficult child, he may be the one who is still there after she is on her own. I dont know your issues with your husb, maybe he is a louse. But men dont think the way we do about all this stuff I am convinced. They do care they just handle it different. I would just hate for you to lose the one person you may have invested yourself in, and then you difficult child get all your attention and realy not even care right now. Just remember you arent really able to see past your immediate circumstances right now...maybe not a good time to make big decisons. Its late, maybe I am just babbling.....I just wanted to send you support and encouragement. Hang in there. [/QUOTE]
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