Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
I think I am ready to give up on her
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 94281" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>You are describing my life when difficult child was 17 except for the violence and failing classes.</p><p></p><p>She was using drugs, defiant, and sneaky. Rather than breaking curfew, she would sneak out after we were all asleep. She got away with it for years and I only found out about it recently.</p><p></p><p>She also made our home life hell. easy child would go to her room and cover herself up with blankets when the fights started. husband and I felt helpless watching our daughter turn to drugs and druggie friends.</p><p></p><p>Ages 17 & 18 were the worst years. Finally, at 19 we had enough and would not let her return after an explosive exit. She stood pounding on the door and husband called the police who came and told difficult child she had to leave or be arrested. </p><p></p><p>She went on to live for a year on her own and got evicted from one apartment and then went to living on other people's couches. At 20, she convinced us that she was going to change and go back to college. She again dropped out of school halfway into the semester and we found pot in her bedroom. We made her leave again.</p><p></p><p>She is now living on her own, delivering pizza for a living, and going to fulltime to a local community college. Our relationship is slowly being repaired and she is loving when she sees us.</p><p></p><p>I am convinced it took a combination of tough love and maturation on difficult child's part to get where she is today. She is still on an antidepressant and Aderall which she gets from a local mental health clinic.</p><p></p><p>We did look into foster care when she was 17 and things were at their worst but I was told that she was too old. The foster care people wouldn't even talk to us if difficult child was older than 16.</p><p></p><p>I agree with the others about taking away the cell phone. I stopped providing my difficult child with a cell phone when she was 16 and I found a local drug dealer on speed dial. I was not providing her with access to getting drugs. If she gives the line about needing the phone for security reasons, tell her that she is not all that concerned about safety if she is using drugs and hanging out at all hours with her loser friends. Don't let her guilt you into giving in on the phone. Also, does she have a car? That should go, too, if she is not acting responsibly. Just the basics ~ food, clothes, and shelter. </p><p></p><p>I also agree with the locking the door and telling her that she will have to find somewhere else to stay if she breaks curfew. </p><p></p><p>And I would also keep calling the police each and every time that she gets violent. </p><p></p><p>Hang in there and keep posting. It helped me keep my sanity during the darkest times.</p><p></p><p>~Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 94281, member: 1967"] You are describing my life when difficult child was 17 except for the violence and failing classes. She was using drugs, defiant, and sneaky. Rather than breaking curfew, she would sneak out after we were all asleep. She got away with it for years and I only found out about it recently. She also made our home life hell. easy child would go to her room and cover herself up with blankets when the fights started. husband and I felt helpless watching our daughter turn to drugs and druggie friends. Ages 17 & 18 were the worst years. Finally, at 19 we had enough and would not let her return after an explosive exit. She stood pounding on the door and husband called the police who came and told difficult child she had to leave or be arrested. She went on to live for a year on her own and got evicted from one apartment and then went to living on other people's couches. At 20, she convinced us that she was going to change and go back to college. She again dropped out of school halfway into the semester and we found pot in her bedroom. We made her leave again. She is now living on her own, delivering pizza for a living, and going to fulltime to a local community college. Our relationship is slowly being repaired and she is loving when she sees us. I am convinced it took a combination of tough love and maturation on difficult child's part to get where she is today. She is still on an antidepressant and Aderall which she gets from a local mental health clinic. We did look into foster care when she was 17 and things were at their worst but I was told that she was too old. The foster care people wouldn't even talk to us if difficult child was older than 16. I agree with the others about taking away the cell phone. I stopped providing my difficult child with a cell phone when she was 16 and I found a local drug dealer on speed dial. I was not providing her with access to getting drugs. If she gives the line about needing the phone for security reasons, tell her that she is not all that concerned about safety if she is using drugs and hanging out at all hours with her loser friends. Don't let her guilt you into giving in on the phone. Also, does she have a car? That should go, too, if she is not acting responsibly. Just the basics ~ food, clothes, and shelter. I also agree with the locking the door and telling her that she will have to find somewhere else to stay if she breaks curfew. And I would also keep calling the police each and every time that she gets violent. Hang in there and keep posting. It helped me keep my sanity during the darkest times. ~Kathy [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
I think I am ready to give up on her
Top