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I think I am ready to give up on her
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 94351" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Hi and welcome, </p><p></p><p>I have not read the other posts, but always figure if things get repeated they must be logical suggestions. </p><p></p><p>I can only tell you what I did with my son given a similar situation without the drugs. </p><p></p><p>She's abusive: you're still healing from the bruises? </p><p>Call the police and have her arrested for assault. This will get her in the system and closer to any services that are going to help her at her age. It also sends a clear message that if you hit me you WILL be arrested. You're telling her you aren't afraid of her any longer. There will be consequences for her actions. </p><p></p><p>This I say FIRST because it has to stop NOW. It won't fix itself after you do this that and the other. </p><p></p><p>You asked about having her kicked out and such. This is not as hard as you think it is, but you have to go before a judge in family court and prove she's been abusive. At this juncture I'm only guessing that you have NO written police records that she's been uncontrollable? If you have things from her school, the police this is helpful. </p><p></p><p>You go to the court and you file a petition of incorrigibility. You will go before a judge who will hear your case and make recommendations for her. It may NOT be foster care immediately. There are steps you have to take to sever your parental rights. You can't just walk into court and show them bruises and say "She did this, I can't take it any more take her away." Not going to happen. </p><p></p><p>If you are serious about this? I would ask the family court to drug test here as well. WITH HAIR test NOT blood test. Tell them you suspect she's smoking dope. For most people I've ever known who smoke dope are not aggressive and lash out. I would also ask for a blood test to see what else she's experimenting with. I would venture to say there is something else going on. </p><p>Just because of her actions. </p><p></p><p>I guess at this point you have to sit down and ask yourself the really tough parenting questions. Do I continue to live in fear of having this person beat me up or do I do something to help her understand RIGHT NOW that she's not permitted to use me for a punching bag. </p><p></p><p>If you are serious - Call the police the next time she acts out and EVEN IF she only THREATENS to hit you - it's assault. Understand that now, and make the police take her as a danger to herself and others. </p><p></p><p>At 17 if they don't or won't arrest her for assault? Then I would tell them to call an ambulance and have her committed for 72 hours or Baker Acted into a psychiatric hospital. Get in touch with your local mental health office and see what they can suggest for her. </p><p></p><p>Mental health is done on a sliding scale fee / free depending on your money situation. </p><p></p><p>I'm sorry to sound so hard, but these were the choices given to me regarding my son who I could no longer control. He eventually under his own watch went to Department of Juvenile Justice and jail. He is currently on probation and can go back in a snap if he misbehaves for six years. SIX YEARS IN ADULT JAIL!!! It's keeping him straight for now. And he's no longer in my home trying to run my life. </p><p></p><p>I let natural consequences take over - it wasn't easy, but it beat me going to jail for him hitting me. I was abused when I was married you see, and I'm not sure I would be able to walk away if he ever had hit me. I'm glad he never did for both our sakes. </p><p></p><p>Never easy decisions with these kids - God certainly thought we were special to raise them. </p><p></p><p>Hugs for your pain</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 94351, member: 4964"] Hi and welcome, I have not read the other posts, but always figure if things get repeated they must be logical suggestions. I can only tell you what I did with my son given a similar situation without the drugs. She's abusive: you're still healing from the bruises? Call the police and have her arrested for assault. This will get her in the system and closer to any services that are going to help her at her age. It also sends a clear message that if you hit me you WILL be arrested. You're telling her you aren't afraid of her any longer. There will be consequences for her actions. This I say FIRST because it has to stop NOW. It won't fix itself after you do this that and the other. You asked about having her kicked out and such. This is not as hard as you think it is, but you have to go before a judge in family court and prove she's been abusive. At this juncture I'm only guessing that you have NO written police records that she's been uncontrollable? If you have things from her school, the police this is helpful. You go to the court and you file a petition of incorrigibility. You will go before a judge who will hear your case and make recommendations for her. It may NOT be foster care immediately. There are steps you have to take to sever your parental rights. You can't just walk into court and show them bruises and say "She did this, I can't take it any more take her away." Not going to happen. If you are serious about this? I would ask the family court to drug test here as well. WITH HAIR test NOT blood test. Tell them you suspect she's smoking dope. For most people I've ever known who smoke dope are not aggressive and lash out. I would also ask for a blood test to see what else she's experimenting with. I would venture to say there is something else going on. Just because of her actions. I guess at this point you have to sit down and ask yourself the really tough parenting questions. Do I continue to live in fear of having this person beat me up or do I do something to help her understand RIGHT NOW that she's not permitted to use me for a punching bag. If you are serious - Call the police the next time she acts out and EVEN IF she only THREATENS to hit you - it's assault. Understand that now, and make the police take her as a danger to herself and others. At 17 if they don't or won't arrest her for assault? Then I would tell them to call an ambulance and have her committed for 72 hours or Baker Acted into a psychiatric hospital. Get in touch with your local mental health office and see what they can suggest for her. Mental health is done on a sliding scale fee / free depending on your money situation. I'm sorry to sound so hard, but these were the choices given to me regarding my son who I could no longer control. He eventually under his own watch went to Department of Juvenile Justice and jail. He is currently on probation and can go back in a snap if he misbehaves for six years. SIX YEARS IN ADULT JAIL!!! It's keeping him straight for now. And he's no longer in my home trying to run my life. I let natural consequences take over - it wasn't easy, but it beat me going to jail for him hitting me. I was abused when I was married you see, and I'm not sure I would be able to walk away if he ever had hit me. I'm glad he never did for both our sakes. Never easy decisions with these kids - God certainly thought we were special to raise them. Hugs for your pain Star [/QUOTE]
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