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Ideas for helping difficult child 2 de-escalate
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<blockquote data-quote="SearchingForRainbows" data-source="post: 259404" data-attributes="member: 3388"><p>I think Totoro and Stella are on to something - I know from personal experience with difficult child 1, he needs to feel in control of everything and complains of boredom frequently when he is escalating. </p><p></p><p>Does difficult child 2 have something that he really enjoys doing? For example, when difficult child 1 is about to lose control, playing video games usually stops the outburst. This isn't a solution as difficult child 1 will get furious when he has to stop playing the games when he is unstable. However, on a short-term basis, as a band aid approach, if difficult child 2 enjoys computer games, maybe you could let him play them whenever he needs to if this helps him stay in control.</p><p></p><p>Another thing that might help is to remove as much pressure as you can from his life for now. Don't get after him for the small stuff. Ignore every single behavior you can. Always remain calm no matter what you're feeling inside when dealing with him. Don't expect anything from him as far as chores, etc. Let him feel like he has the upper hand as much as possible. All of these things help difficult child 1 keep it together when he is about to "lose it." </p><p></p><p>Of course things will have to change once he is properly medicated. Until then, my best advice is to ignore everything you can, praise him for anything and everything that even remotely resembles good behavior, and NEVER try to reason with him if he is escalating. If he is impossible to ignore, then respond calmly but don't disagree with his opinions on anything - Just try to remain neutral.</p><p></p><p>Please update. I know how tough it is to live with an unstable difficult child who is bipolar!!! (And, by the way, difficult child 1 doesn't have ADHD but looks like he does when he is unstable.)</p><p></p><p>I hope difficult child 2 is able to get the help he needs soon!!! </p><p></p><p>Lots of hugs to both of you... WFEN</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SearchingForRainbows, post: 259404, member: 3388"] I think Totoro and Stella are on to something - I know from personal experience with difficult child 1, he needs to feel in control of everything and complains of boredom frequently when he is escalating. Does difficult child 2 have something that he really enjoys doing? For example, when difficult child 1 is about to lose control, playing video games usually stops the outburst. This isn't a solution as difficult child 1 will get furious when he has to stop playing the games when he is unstable. However, on a short-term basis, as a band aid approach, if difficult child 2 enjoys computer games, maybe you could let him play them whenever he needs to if this helps him stay in control. Another thing that might help is to remove as much pressure as you can from his life for now. Don't get after him for the small stuff. Ignore every single behavior you can. Always remain calm no matter what you're feeling inside when dealing with him. Don't expect anything from him as far as chores, etc. Let him feel like he has the upper hand as much as possible. All of these things help difficult child 1 keep it together when he is about to "lose it." Of course things will have to change once he is properly medicated. Until then, my best advice is to ignore everything you can, praise him for anything and everything that even remotely resembles good behavior, and NEVER try to reason with him if he is escalating. If he is impossible to ignore, then respond calmly but don't disagree with his opinions on anything - Just try to remain neutral. Please update. I know how tough it is to live with an unstable difficult child who is bipolar!!! (And, by the way, difficult child 1 doesn't have ADHD but looks like he does when he is unstable.) I hope difficult child 2 is able to get the help he needs soon!!! Lots of hugs to both of you... WFEN [/QUOTE]
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