Mind, I did many other things besides medication for my son but I remember myself feeling often like he was treated as an "experiment" from the medical professionals when he was growing up. It really bothered me, as if he was not a person, not a growing child with so many other needs besides medication trials, changes and dosage ups and downs along with monthly blood work. A child who needed support, especially considering everything he was dealing with, understanding of how he felt, loving direction, and just plan love.
Mentioning yourself as being treated as being experimented on for medication brings tears to my eyes. Something no child should have to deal with. My son has not mentioned this to me, maybe because of all of the other supports he had, I don't know. But it was real, I saw it, I hated it, it was not right.
To let you know though, none of the three psychiatrists I brought my son to as he was growing up suggested anything other than medication. Well just one had a therapist in her office who was okay but not great. But for the most part I had to figure all of the rest of it out on my own, with no one to even make a suggestion, let alone any real direction even from that therapist.
Your parents sound very much like my son's dad (who had a diagnosis, was on lifelong medication, with much support at home in a simpler time as he was growing up) and his wife were like. It was as if a medical doctor was the end all and be all. If the doctor didn't suggest it they viewed it as extraneous. Good for my son I didn't have to rely on any support from them for things they considered extraneous. I know they were just ignorant. The father because he had built up such an ego defense of a "self made man" against all of the support he was given as a child/young adult because of the mental health stigma his family has lived with through generations, and the wife because she was someone who was simply his parrot. They were not bad people, actually good people for the most part but ignorant, not choosing to be so, just not knowing, over their heads but not able to consider that and not brave enough to stand in reality.
EMDR is very powerful for taking the sting out of past trauma, to put things in their place, and remove automatic reactions we have from past life's experiences. I did it from something that happened when I was 5 years old and it has had an amazing difference in my life since then should have done it in my twenties instead of fifties, but whatever. It could be something for you to consider as Ascending has mentioned to work out the kinks from what you feel when things get tough.
Thank you so much for your insight for us. I'm looking forward to more sharing from you. Right now I'm working through letting my son be the adult he is and not talking to him as if he can't handle life and things that for me seem like a big deal but to him are just not so important. I'm different than him in that way, have always been a worrywart on top of things, where he is much more seat of the pants. Not that you are one way or the other but your posts bring out to me how we take things as if they have much more to do with us than seeing the other person, in my case my son. I have to work on seeing him for who he is and not try to interject my way of life on him. Thanks!
