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I'm Back - I Wish I Weren't, But Now I'm A Grandma
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 749360" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi ChickPea, I am glad you started your own thread. There are some similarities in our stories, my two daughters are on the streets as I shared with you on another post. Both are attracted to abusive men. Rain does not have children, Tornado has three. She has not seen them for three years.</p><p>Tornado and baby daddy Volcano (dubbed so after Eminem’s song) had an extremely volatile relationship. They had their kids young and use that to excuse their partying and drug use because they “didn’t have a teen life”, they are in their 30s and still drugging.</p><p>Hubs and I tried to help out, with concern being for our grands. The parents spiraled downward and we tried to stop the train wreck to no avail. We had a revolving door of sorts, rearranging house and furniture to accommodate my daughter and the kids when she decided to try and leave her abusive boyfriend. He found ways to wiggle his way back, then it would start up again with the chaos and fighting. We would watch helplessly as he would take one of the babies yelling that if he couldn’t have our daughter, he would take the kids. Police were called, they did nothing, because “He was the father.”</p><p>I don’t know how many times I have been told by authorities that “You have no rights, you are just the grandmother.”</p><p>Even after we took care of the three kids for a time when CPS stepped in. No rights, the goal was to reunify the family. The parents towed the line long enough to get the kids back. What a mistake. They were put through the hell of their parents addiction and incendiary relationship, used as cash cows for EBT and welfare money. Shuffled from home to home, moved schools many times, never really had stability.</p><p>Hubs passed three years ago from health issues but I do believe he died from all of the heartache we went through with this.</p><p>Fast forward to the present- eldest grand will be 15, brother 13, sister 11. They are with me due to their parents abandoning them. The paternal grandparents have been “caring” for them for three years, but that is now a questionable arrangement.</p><p>CPS, now CWS is involved again, I am a <em>temporary resource foster parent</em> trying to get licensed so that the kids can once again stay with me. The goal of CWS is still reunification of family. Even after all of this time, even though both parents are heavily into drugs and living on the streets.</p><p>Since you stated that Dad and Mom are not allowed to have contact with baby I am assuming that authorities are involved? I think you are on the right track contacting a lawyer. Hopefully your case will be different than mine and my grands. Unfortunately, with volatile relationships and drugs in the mix, the natural affection parents would normally feel for their babies is not there. But.....it is a tempting thing to use their kids to receive government help, which is what my daughter and her boyfriend did.</p><p>You are doing a wonderful thing caring for your grand baby. Please do seek help early on. I love my grands with all of my heart and we have all been on a hellish macabre rollercoaster ride. It is heart, gut and soul wrenching enough to witness our adult children go by the wayside, when grands are in the picture it adds an extra twist to the challenge.</p><p>I wish you peace on this journey. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing. Take care of yourself, gird your loins and guard your heart. This is a tough battle.</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>New Leaf</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 749360, member: 19522"] Hi ChickPea, I am glad you started your own thread. There are some similarities in our stories, my two daughters are on the streets as I shared with you on another post. Both are attracted to abusive men. Rain does not have children, Tornado has three. She has not seen them for three years. Tornado and baby daddy Volcano (dubbed so after Eminem’s song) had an extremely volatile relationship. They had their kids young and use that to excuse their partying and drug use because they “didn’t have a teen life”, they are in their 30s and still drugging. Hubs and I tried to help out, with concern being for our grands. The parents spiraled downward and we tried to stop the train wreck to no avail. We had a revolving door of sorts, rearranging house and furniture to accommodate my daughter and the kids when she decided to try and leave her abusive boyfriend. He found ways to wiggle his way back, then it would start up again with the chaos and fighting. We would watch helplessly as he would take one of the babies yelling that if he couldn’t have our daughter, he would take the kids. Police were called, they did nothing, because “He was the father.” I don’t know how many times I have been told by authorities that “You have no rights, you are just the grandmother.” Even after we took care of the three kids for a time when CPS stepped in. No rights, the goal was to reunify the family. The parents towed the line long enough to get the kids back. What a mistake. They were put through the hell of their parents addiction and incendiary relationship, used as cash cows for EBT and welfare money. Shuffled from home to home, moved schools many times, never really had stability. Hubs passed three years ago from health issues but I do believe he died from all of the heartache we went through with this. Fast forward to the present- eldest grand will be 15, brother 13, sister 11. They are with me due to their parents abandoning them. The paternal grandparents have been “caring” for them for three years, but that is now a questionable arrangement. CPS, now CWS is involved again, I am a [I]temporary resource foster parent[/I] trying to get licensed so that the kids can once again stay with me. The goal of CWS is still reunification of family. Even after all of this time, even though both parents are heavily into drugs and living on the streets. Since you stated that Dad and Mom are not allowed to have contact with baby I am assuming that authorities are involved? I think you are on the right track contacting a lawyer. Hopefully your case will be different than mine and my grands. Unfortunately, with volatile relationships and drugs in the mix, the natural affection parents would normally feel for their babies is not there. But.....it is a tempting thing to use their kids to receive government help, which is what my daughter and her boyfriend did. You are doing a wonderful thing caring for your grand baby. Please do seek help early on. I love my grands with all of my heart and we have all been on a hellish macabre rollercoaster ride. It is heart, gut and soul wrenching enough to witness our adult children go by the wayside, when grands are in the picture it adds an extra twist to the challenge. I wish you peace on this journey. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing. Take care of yourself, gird your loins and guard your heart. This is a tough battle. (((Hugs))) New Leaf [/QUOTE]
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