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I'm new and my daughter's behavior has pushed me into therapy.
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<blockquote data-quote="reallytrying" data-source="post: 166676" data-attributes="member: 5447"><p>I am new here as well. My daughter turned 6 a few months ago, and after months of ineffective therapy, my husband and I decided to see a child psychiatrist. She showed the same behaviors as your 2 yr-old, consistently from around that age. We also thought it was "Terrible 2's", but then came even worse 3's and still worse 4's. By the time she reached age 5, we had even discussed divorce because our family was so stressed out. She has always been a high maintenance child--she had GERD and we were in the ER (ambulance and everything) a few days after we took her home from the hospital because she was choking on milk that wouldn't stay down. It was crazy to go through all of that and have the dr tell us that it was "just reflux". She cried many hours before we finally got her on medications that helped the food stay down and stabilize the acids in her tummy. </p><p> Because we catered to her, (so that she wouldn't choke again) she began to respond to our rushing to her when she started crying. It has been very hard to admit that she does have a problem, especially for my husband. I have had to leave friend's and family's houses because of her behavior, and had to restrain her (just last night, actually) to keep her from hurting us, or destroying things in our house. I have also thought of checking out, or just leaving, because I feel like it's my fault and that her life is going to be so hard. </p><p> The psychiatrist suggested that she has Oppositional Defiant Disorder with ADHD, which made sense when I looked at the characteristics--and quite frankly I was so glad that he didn't think she was bipolar that I was willing to try anything to get it corrected.</p><p> So, she is on the lowest dose of an ADHD medication, which made a notable difference the first day. She still has the tantrums, but she does have more control over her impulsive behavior and that makes it easier to work on her defiant behavior.</p><p> I have been kicked, punched, spit on, head-butted, and pretty much anything she could think of. One day she tried to jump out of the car on an interstate highway. She's gotten out of her carseat and attacked me while driving--and several times I've been hit in the head by things thrown fromt he backseat. Oh yeah, and one day she was jumping on her bed in the middle of a tantrum shouting that she wanted me to "D-I-E". </p><p> She is very intelligent--she's been reading since age 4. I really wish we had taken her in sooner. Please consider doing that for your daughter. </p><p>Our family thought it was normal as well, but then they thought I wasn't being tough enough on her. I teach Special Education. and have had some experience with defiant children, and I know that the <strong>conflict</strong> is what drives this behavior. </p><p>I take antidepressants and I'm ok with that--I didn't want to medicate her, but I see how it helps her slow down and more easily gain control over her behavior. </p><p> I've read that Cognitive Behavior Therapy really helps, and I'm looking for more info on it. I have been asking her questions like "Is this behavior working for you?" or "What is wrong with your behavior right now?" and "What can you do to turn this around?" I also give her some choices, like Love and Logic, but I have to word it a bit differently for her. I have been telling her that she can do what I have asked her to do, or I can "help" her do it, which takes the control away from her. She has been opting to do it on her own. One day this week, she was having trouble with something and I tried to help her--she punched me in the arm!</p><p>So, I learned that no matter how frustrated she is, I will let her work it out. The main thing is to stay CALM and know that you can do this--if you start now, chances are that she will be successful in controlling her behavior in the future!</p><p> My family thinks that a "good spanking" cures all behavior problems, but with this type of problem, spanking shows the child how to hurt someone else. It's been tough. I've even decided to major in behavior problems in grad school to get better at handling my little girl.</p><p> I am rambling--sorry! I just see myself a few years ago when reading your message! Hang in there!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="reallytrying, post: 166676, member: 5447"] I am new here as well. My daughter turned 6 a few months ago, and after months of ineffective therapy, my husband and I decided to see a child psychiatrist. She showed the same behaviors as your 2 yr-old, consistently from around that age. We also thought it was "Terrible 2's", but then came even worse 3's and still worse 4's. By the time she reached age 5, we had even discussed divorce because our family was so stressed out. She has always been a high maintenance child--she had GERD and we were in the ER (ambulance and everything) a few days after we took her home from the hospital because she was choking on milk that wouldn't stay down. It was crazy to go through all of that and have the dr tell us that it was "just reflux". She cried many hours before we finally got her on medications that helped the food stay down and stabilize the acids in her tummy. Because we catered to her, (so that she wouldn't choke again) she began to respond to our rushing to her when she started crying. It has been very hard to admit that she does have a problem, especially for my husband. I have had to leave friend's and family's houses because of her behavior, and had to restrain her (just last night, actually) to keep her from hurting us, or destroying things in our house. I have also thought of checking out, or just leaving, because I feel like it's my fault and that her life is going to be so hard. The psychiatrist suggested that she has Oppositional Defiant Disorder with ADHD, which made sense when I looked at the characteristics--and quite frankly I was so glad that he didn't think she was bipolar that I was willing to try anything to get it corrected. So, she is on the lowest dose of an ADHD medication, which made a notable difference the first day. She still has the tantrums, but she does have more control over her impulsive behavior and that makes it easier to work on her defiant behavior. I have been kicked, punched, spit on, head-butted, and pretty much anything she could think of. One day she tried to jump out of the car on an interstate highway. She's gotten out of her carseat and attacked me while driving--and several times I've been hit in the head by things thrown fromt he backseat. Oh yeah, and one day she was jumping on her bed in the middle of a tantrum shouting that she wanted me to "D-I-E". She is very intelligent--she's been reading since age 4. I really wish we had taken her in sooner. Please consider doing that for your daughter. Our family thought it was normal as well, but then they thought I wasn't being tough enough on her. I teach Special Education. and have had some experience with defiant children, and I know that the [B]conflict[/B] is what drives this behavior. I take antidepressants and I'm ok with that--I didn't want to medicate her, but I see how it helps her slow down and more easily gain control over her behavior. I've read that Cognitive Behavior Therapy really helps, and I'm looking for more info on it. I have been asking her questions like "Is this behavior working for you?" or "What is wrong with your behavior right now?" and "What can you do to turn this around?" I also give her some choices, like Love and Logic, but I have to word it a bit differently for her. I have been telling her that she can do what I have asked her to do, or I can "help" her do it, which takes the control away from her. She has been opting to do it on her own. One day this week, she was having trouble with something and I tried to help her--she punched me in the arm! So, I learned that no matter how frustrated she is, I will let her work it out. The main thing is to stay CALM and know that you can do this--if you start now, chances are that she will be successful in controlling her behavior in the future! My family thinks that a "good spanking" cures all behavior problems, but with this type of problem, spanking shows the child how to hurt someone else. It's been tough. I've even decided to major in behavior problems in grad school to get better at handling my little girl. I am rambling--sorry! I just see myself a few years ago when reading your message! Hang in there! [/QUOTE]
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