Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
I'm new. NEED HELP!!!!!
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 170109" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>One important thing to keep in mind, Julie - medicine is an inexact science. I just said it on another thread, but we need to understand that there is no such thing as a machine which can 'read' our kids, diagnose them perfectly and then churn out a report specifying exactly what diagnosis they have and exactly what magic pill will make it all go away.</p><p></p><p>It doesn't exist, but we all keep looking, hoping that it will materialise.</p><p></p><p>We also need to avoid giving our kids the idea that they are damaged goods. That is very difficult sometimes, but if you can keep in mind (and teach the kids) that while they may have a neurological problem or a medical problem or a psychological problem, it also has other aspects to it that can connect with personal strengths. Without the disability, would they still be the same people?</p><p></p><p>difficult child 3 had a scripture teacher (we have optional religious education in our schools here) who thought she was doing the right thing in sitting with him and praying with him that his autism would be cured. While I understood she was trying to help, I was very angry because it sent difficult child 3 several very bad messages: first, that his autism was something to be despised and rejected even though it is an integral part of his identity (whether we like it or not); and second, that God is a magic wishing fairy who will grant every wish like a wave of a magic wand. WHat does it do to a vulnerable child's faith when the magic wish doesn't come true? Does it tell him he didn't pray hard enough? Does it tell him he lacks faith? Does it tell him that God doesn't think he is worth the trouble?</p><p></p><p>Autistic kids especially can be very vulnerable to this because they have such open and honest belief systems. As a result, they need gentle handing on matters of faith so they won't get too confused or misled. It doesn't matter what belief system you live by in your family (including no belief system) - you need consistency and careful handling, if your child is Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). And if this means keeping him sheltered in such matters - be prepared to have to do it.</p><p></p><p>With regard to language skills - difficult child 3 was language-delayed, but he sure has caught up now!</p><p></p><p>difficult child 1 was not language-delayed. If anything, he has a higher than average vocabulary and uses it. easy child 2/difficult child 2, who we're fairly sure is Aspie, was so advanced linguistically that we had her accelerated into school. Her skills were formally assessed when she was 4 years old and she successfully answered questions like, "What is the colour of rubies?" and "How would you go about writing and posting a letter?"</p><p></p><p>As for aggression - difficult child 1 was a problem there, especially when unmedicated. difficult child 3 could be goaded to violence especially when frustrated. A younger Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kid is more likely to be frustrated and hence more likely to be aggressive.</p><p></p><p>They CAN also be placid, but only if they have found their own ways to calm themselves (which is where stims can come in). Stims aren't always obvious, either. difficult child 3 would like to look up at trees, would stare at them a lot as a baby. Looking back, we think it was the same flicker effect that an autistic kid into hand-flapping gets as he looks through his rapidly moving fingers. It's a flicker which soothes the brain.</p><p></p><p>Different kids have different stims. easy child 2/difficult child 2 loved the feel of fur fabric (and other textures) so she made a school folder cover from fur fabric and then carried her school folder around all day (at school). She was getting the benefit of her stimulant, without anybody realising it. difficult child 3 loves the feel of towelling, so I made him some summer trousers from an old towel. Again, who would know?</p><p></p><p>Medical experts could tell you a great deal of detail about your child, but still not tell you what you need to know. However, your child is better known by you than by anybody else on the planet.</p><p></p><p>Use the health professionals, but also liaise with them and share your own expert knowledge. The diagnosis should take your knowledge into account. If it doesn't, it has a higher chance of later proving to be incorrect.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 170109, member: 1991"] One important thing to keep in mind, Julie - medicine is an inexact science. I just said it on another thread, but we need to understand that there is no such thing as a machine which can 'read' our kids, diagnose them perfectly and then churn out a report specifying exactly what diagnosis they have and exactly what magic pill will make it all go away. It doesn't exist, but we all keep looking, hoping that it will materialise. We also need to avoid giving our kids the idea that they are damaged goods. That is very difficult sometimes, but if you can keep in mind (and teach the kids) that while they may have a neurological problem or a medical problem or a psychological problem, it also has other aspects to it that can connect with personal strengths. Without the disability, would they still be the same people? difficult child 3 had a scripture teacher (we have optional religious education in our schools here) who thought she was doing the right thing in sitting with him and praying with him that his autism would be cured. While I understood she was trying to help, I was very angry because it sent difficult child 3 several very bad messages: first, that his autism was something to be despised and rejected even though it is an integral part of his identity (whether we like it or not); and second, that God is a magic wishing fairy who will grant every wish like a wave of a magic wand. WHat does it do to a vulnerable child's faith when the magic wish doesn't come true? Does it tell him he didn't pray hard enough? Does it tell him he lacks faith? Does it tell him that God doesn't think he is worth the trouble? Autistic kids especially can be very vulnerable to this because they have such open and honest belief systems. As a result, they need gentle handing on matters of faith so they won't get too confused or misled. It doesn't matter what belief system you live by in your family (including no belief system) - you need consistency and careful handling, if your child is Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). And if this means keeping him sheltered in such matters - be prepared to have to do it. With regard to language skills - difficult child 3 was language-delayed, but he sure has caught up now! difficult child 1 was not language-delayed. If anything, he has a higher than average vocabulary and uses it. easy child 2/difficult child 2, who we're fairly sure is Aspie, was so advanced linguistically that we had her accelerated into school. Her skills were formally assessed when she was 4 years old and she successfully answered questions like, "What is the colour of rubies?" and "How would you go about writing and posting a letter?" As for aggression - difficult child 1 was a problem there, especially when unmedicated. difficult child 3 could be goaded to violence especially when frustrated. A younger Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kid is more likely to be frustrated and hence more likely to be aggressive. They CAN also be placid, but only if they have found their own ways to calm themselves (which is where stims can come in). Stims aren't always obvious, either. difficult child 3 would like to look up at trees, would stare at them a lot as a baby. Looking back, we think it was the same flicker effect that an autistic kid into hand-flapping gets as he looks through his rapidly moving fingers. It's a flicker which soothes the brain. Different kids have different stims. easy child 2/difficult child 2 loved the feel of fur fabric (and other textures) so she made a school folder cover from fur fabric and then carried her school folder around all day (at school). She was getting the benefit of her stimulant, without anybody realising it. difficult child 3 loves the feel of towelling, so I made him some summer trousers from an old towel. Again, who would know? Medical experts could tell you a great deal of detail about your child, but still not tell you what you need to know. However, your child is better known by you than by anybody else on the planet. Use the health professionals, but also liaise with them and share your own expert knowledge. The diagnosis should take your knowledge into account. If it doesn't, it has a higher chance of later proving to be incorrect. Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
I'm new. NEED HELP!!!!!
Top