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I'm so discouraged...
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<blockquote data-quote="therese005us" data-source="post: 303885" data-attributes="member: 7416"><p>Thanks for all your supports everyone. I don't feel so bad today, although the day didn't start brilliantly. I thought? How much longer can I feel so low, without one nice thing to say about anything? That's pretty low for me, I can usually find a glimmer of hope. </p><p> </p><p>Anyway, His Lordship (I like that, I think that's what I'll call him for a while) told me his psychologist told him to move out and get a job in I**** This after only two appointments? That made me a little mad - so I put a call in to him to see what he really said. Anyway, I asked HL what he felt about that, especially since he's been working towards an apprenticeship in butchery out this way, has a job out this way, etc etc. He didn't know. Do you have $*** saved to start your flat? Are you ready to pay $** for rent, electricity etc? Nope! I pointed out that this is what I want for him to be independent, but he has a few more things to learn yet, and that's why he needs to improve his attitude.</p><p> </p><p>So, the record played a few more times, same song, same song. Then, miracle of miracles! There was an immediate improvement of attitude. He did tasks asked willingly, (even going to fetch the cows home when daughter asked him to) and was respectful all day (I left to go to the city around 1.30pm).</p><p> </p><p>Later this afternoon he rang and told me he'd had a call from Woolworths to offer him an interview with a view to an apprenticeship. These were the people who had to retract their offer several months ago. Could i please take him? Tomorrow? Great! So, now he has 2 possibilities.</p><p> </p><p>He wanted to wear XXYZ. I suggested, wear his black pants and shirt that he would be expected to wear for work anyway. Shave, wash hair etc. by the morning (I didn't get home till a little while ago) and be ready for his job early so I can pick him up and take him to a service station or something to wash and change for the interview. </p><p> </p><p>HL receives benefits, but although I have authority, I have chosen not to have control of his money. It goes into his bank account and he spends as he wishes. I do occasionally insist he save $ and have set up a separate account (in his name, under his control) for this. He pays board of $50 a week which he hands me himself. </p><p> </p><p>I have authority for his medications, doctors appointments etc. and to see into his bank account, check his benefits entitlements etc. I have responsibility to get him to put in his forms etc. It's tiresome.</p><p>I have tried to make him responsible for his own things, but he's not capable - or too lazy? Maybe a combination of both. He won't read forms, but he doesn't understand them. He has auditory processing problems big time. He needs constant supervision to keep on task. I don't know how he'll go, but Woolworths is an equal opportunity employer, which is why it is my preferred option. They have a policy to help disabled people.</p><p> </p><p>His road to independence is a ways off yet, which is a burden at times. I get low like this once in a while, I'm glad I can finally pull myself out of it.</p><p> </p><p>I want to try a chart/points system. Does anyone have some ideas? Jobs, for points, points for rewards (but in this case, he will earn his trip to the video shop, or the ride to work, or his meals etc. ) I tried to look one up on the internet, but I'm very challenged in this area. Could someone tell me, 'click here' and I'll find it?</p><p> </p><p>Thanks again girls, I appreciate your patience and advice.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="therese005us, post: 303885, member: 7416"] Thanks for all your supports everyone. I don't feel so bad today, although the day didn't start brilliantly. I thought? How much longer can I feel so low, without one nice thing to say about anything? That's pretty low for me, I can usually find a glimmer of hope. Anyway, His Lordship (I like that, I think that's what I'll call him for a while) told me his psychologist told him to move out and get a job in I**** This after only two appointments? That made me a little mad - so I put a call in to him to see what he really said. Anyway, I asked HL what he felt about that, especially since he's been working towards an apprenticeship in butchery out this way, has a job out this way, etc etc. He didn't know. Do you have $*** saved to start your flat? Are you ready to pay $** for rent, electricity etc? Nope! I pointed out that this is what I want for him to be independent, but he has a few more things to learn yet, and that's why he needs to improve his attitude. So, the record played a few more times, same song, same song. Then, miracle of miracles! There was an immediate improvement of attitude. He did tasks asked willingly, (even going to fetch the cows home when daughter asked him to) and was respectful all day (I left to go to the city around 1.30pm). Later this afternoon he rang and told me he'd had a call from Woolworths to offer him an interview with a view to an apprenticeship. These were the people who had to retract their offer several months ago. Could i please take him? Tomorrow? Great! So, now he has 2 possibilities. He wanted to wear XXYZ. I suggested, wear his black pants and shirt that he would be expected to wear for work anyway. Shave, wash hair etc. by the morning (I didn't get home till a little while ago) and be ready for his job early so I can pick him up and take him to a service station or something to wash and change for the interview. HL receives benefits, but although I have authority, I have chosen not to have control of his money. It goes into his bank account and he spends as he wishes. I do occasionally insist he save $ and have set up a separate account (in his name, under his control) for this. He pays board of $50 a week which he hands me himself. I have authority for his medications, doctors appointments etc. and to see into his bank account, check his benefits entitlements etc. I have responsibility to get him to put in his forms etc. It's tiresome. I have tried to make him responsible for his own things, but he's not capable - or too lazy? Maybe a combination of both. He won't read forms, but he doesn't understand them. He has auditory processing problems big time. He needs constant supervision to keep on task. I don't know how he'll go, but Woolworths is an equal opportunity employer, which is why it is my preferred option. They have a policy to help disabled people. His road to independence is a ways off yet, which is a burden at times. I get low like this once in a while, I'm glad I can finally pull myself out of it. I want to try a chart/points system. Does anyone have some ideas? Jobs, for points, points for rewards (but in this case, he will earn his trip to the video shop, or the ride to work, or his meals etc. ) I tried to look one up on the internet, but I'm very challenged in this area. Could someone tell me, 'click here' and I'll find it? Thanks again girls, I appreciate your patience and advice. [/QUOTE]
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