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I'm so tired of "Well, he can't help it.."
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 301133" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p><strong>the poor thing some day when he isn't face to face with a mother who loves him dearly.</strong></p><p></p><p>The whole "poor thing" seems way out there. He still has choices with these diseases and disorders. Yes, he has challenges that not every other person has. But he has a LOT of gifts and privileges that MOST of the world doesn't have.</p><p></p><p>he HAS food for every meal. Billions of people do NOT have this. Even in THIS COUNTRY!!!</p><p></p><p>Many people have no computers, or other items. Heck, he is lucky to have a roof over his head. </p><p></p><p>It is time to remind YOURSELF of this. The facts won't matter to difficult child. But they should matter to you. It is really easy to slide into the "he can't help it" rut. But that rut is dangerous. He will be 18 before long. LOTS of crimes like home invasion and theft and assault will end up with him charged as an adult even at 14 in some states and certainly by 17 in most. Heck, here in OK and in Tx and many southern states children who are 14 and 15 are regularly tried and imprisoned as ADULTS! Then they end up in ADULT prisons. You need to try to get your difficult child to realize this. You probably won't be able to, but it does happen.</p><p></p><p>The medication wearing off may be causing some rebound. Sort of like all medication did suppress the behavior on a trampoline and when the medication is gone the behaviors come back really really hard. It is not an excuse for bad behavior to the extent he is using it and you are buying it.</p><p></p><p>If the medications only last four, maybe four and a half hours, then his medication schedule needs to be adjusted to one dose at 7 am, one dose between 11 and 11:30 (class change around this time is a good opportunity) and then another does around 3:30 or 4. This will take away his bad behavior excuse at home. It is even more important to have him medicated at home than it is at school, in my opinion. At school if he gets out of hand there are people his size and bigger who can keep him from hurting anyone. At home you do not have all those people to help keep you safe. And his behavior could escalate to a dangerous level at any time.</p><p></p><p>If you keep feeling like he si a "poor kid" then he will NEVER stop these behaviors. It isn't easy, but he must be held accountable. HE has to work to change his behavior. medications alone are NOT going to do this. medications are a TOOL to help him, nothing more.</p><p></p><p>I have been in your rut, and thought the way you think. All it did was end up with a child who is extremely out of control. Call the doctor to get the medications changed, and then go to school to change when they give ti to him. Have it put in his IEP that he must have them between 11 and 11:30 and that someone is to go and get him to take the medications or else they are to take the medications to his class. Remembering the medication may take a while on his part, so the adults need to take that responsibility for a while.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 301133, member: 1233"] [B]the poor thing some day when he isn't face to face with a mother who loves him dearly.[/B] The whole "poor thing" seems way out there. He still has choices with these diseases and disorders. Yes, he has challenges that not every other person has. But he has a LOT of gifts and privileges that MOST of the world doesn't have. he HAS food for every meal. Billions of people do NOT have this. Even in THIS COUNTRY!!! Many people have no computers, or other items. Heck, he is lucky to have a roof over his head. It is time to remind YOURSELF of this. The facts won't matter to difficult child. But they should matter to you. It is really easy to slide into the "he can't help it" rut. But that rut is dangerous. He will be 18 before long. LOTS of crimes like home invasion and theft and assault will end up with him charged as an adult even at 14 in some states and certainly by 17 in most. Heck, here in OK and in Tx and many southern states children who are 14 and 15 are regularly tried and imprisoned as ADULTS! Then they end up in ADULT prisons. You need to try to get your difficult child to realize this. You probably won't be able to, but it does happen. The medication wearing off may be causing some rebound. Sort of like all medication did suppress the behavior on a trampoline and when the medication is gone the behaviors come back really really hard. It is not an excuse for bad behavior to the extent he is using it and you are buying it. If the medications only last four, maybe four and a half hours, then his medication schedule needs to be adjusted to one dose at 7 am, one dose between 11 and 11:30 (class change around this time is a good opportunity) and then another does around 3:30 or 4. This will take away his bad behavior excuse at home. It is even more important to have him medicated at home than it is at school, in my opinion. At school if he gets out of hand there are people his size and bigger who can keep him from hurting anyone. At home you do not have all those people to help keep you safe. And his behavior could escalate to a dangerous level at any time. If you keep feeling like he si a "poor kid" then he will NEVER stop these behaviors. It isn't easy, but he must be held accountable. HE has to work to change his behavior. medications alone are NOT going to do this. medications are a TOOL to help him, nothing more. I have been in your rut, and thought the way you think. All it did was end up with a child who is extremely out of control. Call the doctor to get the medications changed, and then go to school to change when they give ti to him. Have it put in his IEP that he must have them between 11 and 11:30 and that someone is to go and get him to take the medications or else they are to take the medications to his class. Remembering the medication may take a while on his part, so the adults need to take that responsibility for a while. [/QUOTE]
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I'm so tired of "Well, he can't help it.."
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