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I'm so very tired....
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 647037" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>You sound a lot like me. If I accidentally am given a store item without being charged for it, I go back quickly to pay. I don't break the law. I have never been drunk in my life and tried pot so that the other kids who said, "Don't knock it till you tried it" couldn't say that anymore and I continued to knock it. It made me paranoid, fuzzy-headed, spaced out, scared and hungry.</p><p></p><p>If your son is just now starting to exhibit ADD symptoms consider that he may be taking drugs that make him hyper. My daughter did this while on speed. No, we didn't think she was using speed. Not OUR daughter! She never talked the truth to therapists. That was a waste of money. She DID make them think we were horrible parents though. I digress.</p><p></p><p>When I found out my daughter was smoking pot, I really believed she was only smoking pot. It wasn't true. Yes, she started with pot, but quickly advanced and we did not have a clue. Well, hub did, but i didn't want to know it. Twice she was busted for pot and put on parole. Once I turned her in, hoping this would help her or I could get services for her, but she wasn't fazed by parole and kept smoking pot and doing whatever other drugs she did that I did not know about at the time. Boy, she was good at hiding it, but they all are.</p><p></p><p>I can tell you right now that if my daughter EVER smoked pot in the house and I found out about it (never happened), life as she knew it would have been gone forever, including ever getting a driver's license with my money or driving my vehicle. She knew this so she really was very careful where she smoked. Heck, I never even let her smoke cigarettes in the house. I would routinely go through her purse and if I saw cigarettes, I'd toss them out. Once she broke the law, I explained to her that she no longer had privacy and that I would go through her purse, her room, anything. Back then the internet was not as big a factor. She is now thirty. I also cut off all money and we only provided nourishing food and clothes from Walmart, so she got a job and probably spent a lot of her wages on drugs, but at least it was her money and not ours. When she was nineteen, hub and me and the two younger kids went to a waterpark for two days and she was not to have anyone over and to watch the dogs. She had plead on her honor by then that she had quit and we chose to believe her. We did this many times.</p><p></p><p>Well, the younger kids got bored at the waterpark and we came home one night early. Whoa boy. A huge drug party was going on with lots of kids and pills I'd never seen before along with the boring pot and alcohol. What a mess. She was asked to leave, she left, long story short, she did quit. It's been about eleven years since she has used drugs and has a good life now. I do believe in tough love. It doesn't always work, but making them comfy works even less, if it ever works.</p><p></p><p>My daughter was not violent, except once when she put her hand through a window and that was violence against herself. She was always a very sweet person, even in her drug days. But violence is not allowed in our home. My oldest son (whole other story) got violent, and he can never live with us again. Ever. We have zero tolerance for violence. Luckily, he has a good job and doesn't need to live with us and he seems to have changed about 80% of the time, but he does revert. Drugs are not his issue. Anger is.</p><p></p><p>Anyhow, welcome to our nightmare...haha. Humor does help.</p><p></p><p>I hope you and your wife can get on the same page and band together about what you plan on doing about each infraction. Personally, I feel it is hopelessly disrespectful to smoke pot in your house. Your house/your rules. I don't allow smoking cigarettes in my house and it's legal, but again it is my husbands and my sanctuary and we set the rules for that castle of ours, which is really just 1,000 feet of nice apartment, but it is ours and we make the rules about what goes on here. It is to sheild us. Our kids can make their own rules when they are on their own in their own place on their own dime.</p><p></p><p>I don't know about rehabs. Our daughter wouldn't go. She did quit anyway, on her own, in another state away from the bad influences that did not help things any. We are very proud of her. She did it herself. Many people quit without rehab. But if you go the rehab route, make sure it's a decent place. And remember your son will not quit until he wants to. And you have 0% control over him, but you have 100% control of yourself and how you respond to his behavior.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 647037, member: 1550"] You sound a lot like me. If I accidentally am given a store item without being charged for it, I go back quickly to pay. I don't break the law. I have never been drunk in my life and tried pot so that the other kids who said, "Don't knock it till you tried it" couldn't say that anymore and I continued to knock it. It made me paranoid, fuzzy-headed, spaced out, scared and hungry. If your son is just now starting to exhibit ADD symptoms consider that he may be taking drugs that make him hyper. My daughter did this while on speed. No, we didn't think she was using speed. Not OUR daughter! She never talked the truth to therapists. That was a waste of money. She DID make them think we were horrible parents though. I digress. When I found out my daughter was smoking pot, I really believed she was only smoking pot. It wasn't true. Yes, she started with pot, but quickly advanced and we did not have a clue. Well, hub did, but i didn't want to know it. Twice she was busted for pot and put on parole. Once I turned her in, hoping this would help her or I could get services for her, but she wasn't fazed by parole and kept smoking pot and doing whatever other drugs she did that I did not know about at the time. Boy, she was good at hiding it, but they all are. I can tell you right now that if my daughter EVER smoked pot in the house and I found out about it (never happened), life as she knew it would have been gone forever, including ever getting a driver's license with my money or driving my vehicle. She knew this so she really was very careful where she smoked. Heck, I never even let her smoke cigarettes in the house. I would routinely go through her purse and if I saw cigarettes, I'd toss them out. Once she broke the law, I explained to her that she no longer had privacy and that I would go through her purse, her room, anything. Back then the internet was not as big a factor. She is now thirty. I also cut off all money and we only provided nourishing food and clothes from Walmart, so she got a job and probably spent a lot of her wages on drugs, but at least it was her money and not ours. When she was nineteen, hub and me and the two younger kids went to a waterpark for two days and she was not to have anyone over and to watch the dogs. She had plead on her honor by then that she had quit and we chose to believe her. We did this many times. Well, the younger kids got bored at the waterpark and we came home one night early. Whoa boy. A huge drug party was going on with lots of kids and pills I'd never seen before along with the boring pot and alcohol. What a mess. She was asked to leave, she left, long story short, she did quit. It's been about eleven years since she has used drugs and has a good life now. I do believe in tough love. It doesn't always work, but making them comfy works even less, if it ever works. My daughter was not violent, except once when she put her hand through a window and that was violence against herself. She was always a very sweet person, even in her drug days. But violence is not allowed in our home. My oldest son (whole other story) got violent, and he can never live with us again. Ever. We have zero tolerance for violence. Luckily, he has a good job and doesn't need to live with us and he seems to have changed about 80% of the time, but he does revert. Drugs are not his issue. Anger is. Anyhow, welcome to our nightmare...haha. Humor does help. I hope you and your wife can get on the same page and band together about what you plan on doing about each infraction. Personally, I feel it is hopelessly disrespectful to smoke pot in your house. Your house/your rules. I don't allow smoking cigarettes in my house and it's legal, but again it is my husbands and my sanctuary and we set the rules for that castle of ours, which is really just 1,000 feet of nice apartment, but it is ours and we make the rules about what goes on here. It is to sheild us. Our kids can make their own rules when they are on their own in their own place on their own dime. I don't know about rehabs. Our daughter wouldn't go. She did quit anyway, on her own, in another state away from the bad influences that did not help things any. We are very proud of her. She did it herself. Many people quit without rehab. But if you go the rehab route, make sure it's a decent place. And remember your son will not quit until he wants to. And you have 0% control over him, but you have 100% control of yourself and how you respond to his behavior. [/QUOTE]
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