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Substance Abuse
I'm so very tired....
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<blockquote data-quote="1905" data-source="post: 647059" data-attributes="member: 2668"><p>You're telling my story right here. My son went from being in the Gem program to flunking almost everything and being put in remedial classes. Stealing, lying, hurting his brothers, punching holes in the walls were nothing compared to the stress and constant horror we endured living with him. His mantra was, "Why should I?" referring to schoolwork, not lying, maybe finding a job....etc. He was content with this situation, it worked for him. </p><p></p><p>He graduated high school, we told him to get a job or go to work, he did neither, he stole from us and I got a restraining order. He had no choice at that point, my brother in law paid for a room in a rooming house for a month for him. At that point he had to get a job, he HAD to....that is the only way he would have.....I didn't talk to him for a couple years, it was very sudden. He slowly got better jobs, saved his money , bought a car, got married and has 2 kids. Now I talk to him every day. He thanks us for being so tough on him. </p><p></p><p>He's 27, the restraining order was removed years ago. I had to do something drastic to make him want to change. He would still be laying on my couch not working if we allowed him to let him behave that way. We had to make a move, we had to save ourselves. Forget therapy, he'll lie. This is what worked for me, forget any type of contract or deal, it's a joke to these kids. You just have to hang on, if he can graduate from high school, and he's almost there, you can help him want to change. It hurts and it's unpopular with family members but it worked for me. You just want to help him. He's so young still. I'm so glad you don't give him money or access to money.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="1905, post: 647059, member: 2668"] You're telling my story right here. My son went from being in the Gem program to flunking almost everything and being put in remedial classes. Stealing, lying, hurting his brothers, punching holes in the walls were nothing compared to the stress and constant horror we endured living with him. His mantra was, "Why should I?" referring to schoolwork, not lying, maybe finding a job....etc. He was content with this situation, it worked for him. He graduated high school, we told him to get a job or go to work, he did neither, he stole from us and I got a restraining order. He had no choice at that point, my brother in law paid for a room in a rooming house for a month for him. At that point he had to get a job, he HAD to....that is the only way he would have.....I didn't talk to him for a couple years, it was very sudden. He slowly got better jobs, saved his money , bought a car, got married and has 2 kids. Now I talk to him every day. He thanks us for being so tough on him. He's 27, the restraining order was removed years ago. I had to do something drastic to make him want to change. He would still be laying on my couch not working if we allowed him to let him behave that way. We had to make a move, we had to save ourselves. Forget therapy, he'll lie. This is what worked for me, forget any type of contract or deal, it's a joke to these kids. You just have to hang on, if he can graduate from high school, and he's almost there, you can help him want to change. It hurts and it's unpopular with family members but it worked for me. You just want to help him. He's so young still. I'm so glad you don't give him money or access to money. [/QUOTE]
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