Oh I am so sorry this is where he is. That sense of helplessness as a parent is so hard. My suggestion is you go to the police and see if they have a youth officer and talk to them. Most states have options where you can get the court involved for a child in need of services....where the court will get involved if the kid does not abide certain rules. This attitude of I don't have to follow any rules will not serve your son well.
My son was very similar and found out the hard way after he was 18 and now has a felony on his record....
I know the feeling of not caring anymore...but don't give up. He doesn't think he needs you but he does.
