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In a totally new place and need perspective? Cedar? Anyone?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 664934" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>In 1939 there were 16,728,000 Jews worldwide. In 1945 there were 11,000,000. While there have been other genocidal events, perhaps on a larger scale, this is the only one in which I can imagine myself to have been a part. There are approximately 5,000,000 Jews in the United States right now. That was the number, approximately, murdered. So, if we think about the Holocaust as occurring here, I would have been among those killed.</p><p></p><p>There are only two ways to go from this event. The first is to turn inward. To try to tone down whatever feature or attribute brings negative attention or enhances difference. To assimilate. To internalize shame and maybe even self-hatred. Some people think this is what happened to American Jewry in post-war America.</p><p></p><p>The other way is to look outside oneself, to the future and the past. To take stock. Of ones history and values. Of possibilities and options. To decide to honor your history. Proudly. Affirmatively. Take a stand for who you are. And go from there.</p><p></p><p>Learning. No denial. No hiding. No living in the margins. No second guessing. Standing tall. Speaking the truth. Rooting out vulnerability and shame and rancor. Standing among equals. Holding responsible without blaming. Never forgetting. Celebrating and insisting upon survival. *I was surprised to learn that Germany is among the staunchest of Israel's allies.</p><p></p><p>To me the latter is honoring ones past. The former, not so much.</p><p></p><p>What more ugly a story could there be than losing maybe a third of your people, slaughtered? With the world watching, as if in consent.</p><p></p><p>My Mother used to repeat throughout her life how Roosevelt would not let in ships that carried Jews escaping the death camps. Nowhere in the world would accept them. They died. Our family loved Roosevelt. My Mother could never accept this failure by him. Roosevelt only held the normal antisemitism of his class and his times. How does this affect somebody? Watching this as as child. To see one's country indifferent?</p><p></p><p>I think there is a failure of attribution at work here, with us, and with people generally. A "fundamental attribution error" is "the tendency for people to place an undue emphasis on internal characteristics (personality) to explain someone else's behavior in a given situation rather than considering the situation's external factors."</p><p></p><p>From the attribution error perspective the Holocaust happened because the Jews were weak people, who did not defend themselves. From this perspective they meekly, like sheep, went to their deaths. As if, they almost consented *which is certainly not the case. They did not fight back. Attributing responsibility to internal, personal factors. Not on the situation itself. As if it was the responsibility of those murdered to have done something to have stopped. And should of. There are those that think this.</p><p></p><p>They are very wrong, just as we are when we blame ourselves and feel shame for things that happened to us. We have taken on the viewpoint of the aggressor towards us. We look upon and act upon ourselves as if dehumanized.</p><p></p><p>If we take responsibility for crimes against us, and use our own victimization against ourselves we as if consent to those acts that sought to deprive us of humanity, spirit and personality. We dehumanize ourselves further by perpetuating our victimization by our own hand. And we feel the shame and responsibility of both the victim and the perpetrator.</p><p></p><p>And on top of everything there are now the Holocaust deniers. It did not even happen they say. A playing for sympathy and attention. They say. A manipulation. Of course we can see the parallels in our families.</p><p></p><p>With the attribution error the aggressor is in effect, off of the hook. <em><strong>The situation in which those people were put </strong>by evil and horrible people is downplayed. What could be seen as collusion by our leaders, is downplayed too.</em></p><p></p><p>When we see ourselves as responsible for the situations in which we found ourselves we identify with the aggressor and take responsibility for things that were done to us. We feel the shame. We spare those that did hurtful and horrible things. We take on shame that is rightfully theirs.</p><p></p><p>Honor is a choice. It is a point of view. About oneself. Think about a duel. In the moment someone was insulted, they could have walked away. Chosen to minimize or capitulate. One decides honor.</p><p></p><p>Here is part of the definition of Honor in the Oxford English Dictionary.</p><p></p><p>Adherence to what is right...</p><p></p><p>It can also mean treating with respect and keeping a commitment.</p><p></p><p>If we are talking about betrayal of self, we betray ourselves when we do not act towards ourselves from honor. To honor oneself is to treat ourselves with respect and adhering to what is right for us. No matter what. To make paramount our commitments to ourselves, and to each other.</p><p></p><p>Nobody but us can decide whether we deserve honor. Or whether we deserve to be betrayed by our own hand. The jury is always out. There is evidence to prove either side. We decide.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 664934, member: 18958"] In 1939 there were 16,728,000 Jews worldwide. In 1945 there were 11,000,000. While there have been other genocidal events, perhaps on a larger scale, this is the only one in which I can imagine myself to have been a part. There are approximately 5,000,000 Jews in the United States right now. That was the number, approximately, murdered. So, if we think about the Holocaust as occurring here, I would have been among those killed. There are only two ways to go from this event. The first is to turn inward. To try to tone down whatever feature or attribute brings negative attention or enhances difference. To assimilate. To internalize shame and maybe even self-hatred. Some people think this is what happened to American Jewry in post-war America. The other way is to look outside oneself, to the future and the past. To take stock. Of ones history and values. Of possibilities and options. To decide to honor your history. Proudly. Affirmatively. Take a stand for who you are. And go from there. Learning. No denial. No hiding. No living in the margins. No second guessing. Standing tall. Speaking the truth. Rooting out vulnerability and shame and rancor. Standing among equals. Holding responsible without blaming. Never forgetting. Celebrating and insisting upon survival. *I was surprised to learn that Germany is among the staunchest of Israel's allies. To me the latter is honoring ones past. The former, not so much. What more ugly a story could there be than losing maybe a third of your people, slaughtered? With the world watching, as if in consent. My Mother used to repeat throughout her life how Roosevelt would not let in ships that carried Jews escaping the death camps. Nowhere in the world would accept them. They died. Our family loved Roosevelt. My Mother could never accept this failure by him. Roosevelt only held the normal antisemitism of his class and his times. How does this affect somebody? Watching this as as child. To see one's country indifferent? I think there is a failure of attribution at work here, with us, and with people generally. A "fundamental attribution error" is "the tendency for people to place an undue emphasis on internal characteristics (personality) to explain someone else's behavior in a given situation rather than considering the situation's external factors." From the attribution error perspective the Holocaust happened because the Jews were weak people, who did not defend themselves. From this perspective they meekly, like sheep, went to their deaths. As if, they almost consented *which is certainly not the case. They did not fight back. Attributing responsibility to internal, personal factors. Not on the situation itself. As if it was the responsibility of those murdered to have done something to have stopped. And should of. There are those that think this. They are very wrong, just as we are when we blame ourselves and feel shame for things that happened to us. We have taken on the viewpoint of the aggressor towards us. We look upon and act upon ourselves as if dehumanized. If we take responsibility for crimes against us, and use our own victimization against ourselves we as if consent to those acts that sought to deprive us of humanity, spirit and personality. We dehumanize ourselves further by perpetuating our victimization by our own hand. And we feel the shame and responsibility of both the victim and the perpetrator. And on top of everything there are now the Holocaust deniers. It did not even happen they say. A playing for sympathy and attention. They say. A manipulation. Of course we can see the parallels in our families. With the attribution error the aggressor is in effect, off of the hook. [I][B]The situation in which those people were put [/B]by evil and horrible people is downplayed. What could be seen as collusion by our leaders, is downplayed too.[/I] When we see ourselves as responsible for the situations in which we found ourselves we identify with the aggressor and take responsibility for things that were done to us. We feel the shame. We spare those that did hurtful and horrible things. We take on shame that is rightfully theirs. Honor is a choice. It is a point of view. About oneself. Think about a duel. In the moment someone was insulted, they could have walked away. Chosen to minimize or capitulate. One decides honor. Here is part of the definition of Honor in the Oxford English Dictionary. Adherence to what is right... It can also mean treating with respect and keeping a commitment. If we are talking about betrayal of self, we betray ourselves when we do not act towards ourselves from honor. To honor oneself is to treat ourselves with respect and adhering to what is right for us. No matter what. To make paramount our commitments to ourselves, and to each other. Nobody but us can decide whether we deserve honor. Or whether we deserve to be betrayed by our own hand. The jury is always out. There is evidence to prove either side. We decide. [/QUOTE]
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