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Family of Origin
In a totally new place and need perspective? Cedar? Anyone?
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 665997" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Of course not.</p><p></p><p>We are healed enough now to recognize the taste of shame for what it is. There is nothing to feel shame for in taking or defending a position.</p><p></p><p>So...what's it doing there? Something else is being keyed by this situation.</p><p></p><p>What is it.</p><p></p><p>When you know, then you will be clear as a bell on how to proceed with the other.</p><p></p><p>I think that is how I am looking at things for myself, in this phase of our healing.</p><p></p><p>Shame is old business looking to be healed. I will hold myself of primary importance. I will clear the shame and then, attend to whatever response is required in the situation that keyed toxic shame.</p><p></p><p>That shame should not be there.</p><p></p><p>There is nothing to be ashamed about. Facts are facts.</p><p></p><p>Shame has no valid place, here.</p><p></p><p>What is it telling you, what is being keyed, what can be healed.</p><p></p><p>Easy for me to say, I know. But that is what I am trying to do with my sense of shame, too. It's like we beat ourselves into it over everything.</p><p></p><p>We need new default positions.</p><p></p><p>Shame is not healthy for us, for our kids, for our lovers or friends or anyone.</p><p></p><p>Shame is hurtful.</p><p></p><p>It hurts, alot.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 665997, member: 17461"] Of course not. We are healed enough now to recognize the taste of shame for what it is. There is nothing to feel shame for in taking or defending a position. So...what's it doing there? Something else is being keyed by this situation. What is it. When you know, then you will be clear as a bell on how to proceed with the other. I think that is how I am looking at things for myself, in this phase of our healing. Shame is old business looking to be healed. I will hold myself of primary importance. I will clear the shame and then, attend to whatever response is required in the situation that keyed toxic shame. That shame should not be there. There is nothing to be ashamed about. Facts are facts. Shame has no valid place, here. What is it telling you, what is being keyed, what can be healed. Easy for me to say, I know. But that is what I am trying to do with my sense of shame, too. It's like we beat ourselves into it over everything. We need new default positions. Shame is not healthy for us, for our kids, for our lovers or friends or anyone. Shame is hurtful. It hurts, alot. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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In a totally new place and need perspective? Cedar? Anyone?
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