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Family of Origin
In a totally new place and need perspective? Cedar? Anyone?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 666142" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I want to point out one more thing with respect to the issue of Admina and Modesta and I. </p><p></p><p>The only way that I know that I was harmed, is if a witness supports me, as having been. I do not trust my own internal mechanism as being a valid gauge.</p><p></p><p>I feel completely out of whack in this regard. Both in terms of whether or not I have really been harmed...or whether I am deserving of care. Or even it seems, if my voice even when it is coming from strength and knowing...as I developed trust on this board...while posting...is a voice that I deserve to have.</p><p></p><p>That is extremely bad and wrong. And I do not know what to do about it. How to repair it.</p><p></p><p>What has been revealed here...is mistrust or lack of confidence in myself as a complete person. Voice. Deserving. Merit. Respect. </p><p></p><p>I know there must be somewhere a confidence...or I could not have acted <em>as if </em>I am worthy. But I do not know where all of this self-doubt is coming from.</p><p></p><p>Has it always been there? Or is this something I am doing to myself as a punishment, to take away strength and power? My crime?</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 666142, member: 18958"] I want to point out one more thing with respect to the issue of Admina and Modesta and I. The only way that I know that I was harmed, is if a witness supports me, as having been. I do not trust my own internal mechanism as being a valid gauge. I feel completely out of whack in this regard. Both in terms of whether or not I have really been harmed...or whether I am deserving of care. Or even it seems, if my voice even when it is coming from strength and knowing...as I developed trust on this board...while posting...is a voice that I deserve to have. That is extremely bad and wrong. And I do not know what to do about it. How to repair it. What has been revealed here...is mistrust or lack of confidence in myself as a complete person. Voice. Deserving. Merit. Respect. I know there must be somewhere a confidence...or I could not have acted [I]as if [/I]I am worthy. But I do not know where all of this self-doubt is coming from. Has it always been there? Or is this something I am doing to myself as a punishment, to take away strength and power? My crime? COPA [/QUOTE]
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In a totally new place and need perspective? Cedar? Anyone?
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